Who?

I’m legally an adult…but I feel like a High School student. I’m still trapped in this world where I want to be "limited". I don’t feel like going clubbing, I don’t feel like getting drunk. I’m found that recently, I’ve gone out more often with Diana’s friends than I have with the usual congregation of people. I use people because…I don’t know, I feel rather emo. What’s that saying? Relationships come and go but friendship last a lifetime.

But I beg to differ.

People I refer to as my friend in year 7 I wouldn’t refer to as friends now. So many people I thought were my friend but in the end they’re more of a connection…between you and other friends.

I’ve been "hanging" with a new group of people. They’re all a bunch of nice people but obviously there will always be people who annoy me. But…there are no ragers. Nobody rages. Either I’ve yet to see any raging or nobody annoys each other or I’m just naive and oblivious. One guy even pinched me…near the nipple area…(yes Henry…my aura affects not only you).

I don’t really feel like I belong to any specific group…in every "group" I’m known in I always seem to be tagging along on a leash.

It sorta feels like there’s always "something" going on that I don’t know about.

What?

I get jealous easily. I get angry easily. I get annoyed easily. I work too much. I sleep too little.

I can’t hide my feelings. I hate you people who can. I hate you people who can just hide your emotions behind that face and pretend nothing is wrong especially when you fool me into believing you.

If I’m pissed I show it. If I’m angry I show it. If I don’t get enough sleep I show it on my face.

I just want to stop being such a tool. Such a jerk. People who know me probably get used to it or simply ignore it but when I’m comfortable I tend to bag you out. If I don’t bag you out then…something might be wrong. And when I’m with people I bag them out and it seems like I’m just being a complete jerk. Fair enough you know.

When?

Too often.

Why?

I was made this way. Nurture or nature? Probably more nature. People shift and change me. I can’t help it. Maybe someone can help me.

How?

Shit happens…that’s how.

I’ll probably delete this blog some time…(I’ve deleted sooo many blogs…this isn’t the first one I’ve written since my last blog…I’ve written one previously but removed it…I think only 1 person "read" it).