I’ve been changing timetables for students of USYD for three full days now and you get a wide range of personalities. Most people fall into one of the below categories.

The Arts Student – The type that demands to have all their classes on as little days as possible. These people sometimes find the nerve to complain about their 2 day full-time timetable.

The Asian International Student – They’re usually not too bad, can’t speak fluent English but are understandable. They tend to ask me “Do you speak Chinese?” where I usually reply “Yi Dian Dian” (A little bit). Overall, they take longer than the average student but are still manageable.

The bitch – Ah yes, how can you have a list of personalities without the bitch? They walk up without saying hello, if you can’t fix their timetable they sigh, thank you without emotion and leaves, if you happen to fix their timetable they do the same thing but skip the sighing. Where’s the love?

The Couple – Somewhat annoying. Usually the girl comes and gets her timetable changed and then gets her boyfriend’s timetable to match hers. When it’s not possible it’s as if a puppy died. I haven’t had anybody come up to me going “Hi, I would like to change my timetable, I just broke up with my girlfriend so can you move me out of all my tutes and lectures?”.

The First Year Science Student – These guys are ridiculous. They have 24 hour week timetables and they wonder if they can get a day off. I had some guy ask for 2 days off. I actually laughed. No seriously, I did. On top of that they also want to get rid of their 8am starts. Mate, if you want 2 days off and no 8am starts you’re in the wrong degree, perhaps take a look at a future with an Arts degree.

The Friendly schoolgirl – Possibly the type of people you’d want to meet since they’re attractive and you naturally want to help them out. They don’t complain and are appreciative of your help.

The Gang – A group of friends rush at you in an attempt to have matching timetables. Generally unavoidable when confronted.

The idiot – Some people cannot seem to comprehend the idea of a clash or a full class. This one girl wanted me to move her into another class it went something like this.

Me: Sorry it’s full
Idiot: Are you sure?
Me: Yes
Idiot: Can you try?
Me: I have…
Idiot: Can you try again?
Me: I can try a thousand times but that’s not going to move you into a class that’s full
Idiot: Can you just try again?
Me: *taps the keyboard frantically to emphasis point*
Idiot: Oh okay so what do I do now?
Me: *exasperated* Stay in your current class?

The I-have-a-clash type – The MOST annoying type of people. They come up to me with the words “I have a clash” and expect me to fix it. They ask stupid questions like “How does it happen?” Well…you see…you’re doing two subjects and they happen to the same timeslot, that’s how it happens.

The irrational – These people are rare and somewhat confusing. They have these nice timetables with a day off but they insist on coming to uni every day. I don’t bother asking for a reason, as long as they’re happy.

The life-story teller – I’m here to change your timetable not to listen to your life-story. Just tell me what you want and I’ll see what I can do.

The tutes-on-one day type – Rather simple, they want all their tutes on one day so they can just turn up for their tutes and skip the lectures.

The two friends – Usually two best friends who do the same degree. Similar to the couple but nicer, not as desperate to get the same timetable. It’s a bonus if both of them happen to be friendly schoolgirls *wink*

The two-timer – These people have had their timetable changed but feel obliged to “double check” that they can’t get a better timetable. It’s as if their timetable problems would magically disappear after a day.

I’m sure there’s more that I can’t remember. Hope this list was somewhat entertaining.