Courtesy of some work mates at Macquarie, my repository of information has grown.

Last night I had around 4.5 bottles of beer, which is more or less my record at this stage. Beer usually tastes like piss after 2 bottles in which case I move on to spirits but due to lack of spirits, and free beer was free so I decided to to just drink the BEER. I was so full of beer…

Anyway, the real reason I decided to blog was for one hilarious reason. I began talking to a scammer today. Not one of those nigerian ones but those webcam types. The problem is that I do not know how they managed to get my MSN email! I thought “Hey cool, some person decided to add me, this hasn’t happened in a while…” And then  when “he/she” came online it was like “hey wanna see me on cam! here click this http://twurl.nl/nuqe47 see you !!xoxox” I thought…hmmm…this doesn’t seem right.

I was about to block delete and thought…hmmm why not start a conversation and see where this leads?

So I did.

(6:32 PM) me:    yo dawg
(6:32 PM) scammer:    Hi there …
(6:33 PM) me:    whats going down?
(6:33 PM) scammer:    Do I know you??ur single male right?
(6:33 PM) me:    fo sho nigger
(6:33 PM) scammer:    OHH maybe we meet on some social net work or something i just saw ur id and was wondering who you were….i can use some company though!lol
(6:34 PM) me:    just show me dem titties now, know what i’m sayin?
(6:34 PM) scammer:    good!!!!, I just got off work and finally got some time to relax which site did i msg you from again papi?
(6:34 PM) me:    there ain’t no site fool
(6:35 PM) scammer:    Accept the invite, if you need the link again its http://twurl.nl/nj85dg
(6:36 PM) me:    just show me here dawg
im down wif it
(6:36 PM) scammer:    I know a way we can chat and have a better time. do you cam?
(6:36 PM) me:    my cam’s all busted and shit
(6:36 PM) scammer:    Well i don’t do yahoo cam or any other cam because i have been recorded before… But i do know one site you can watch me on cam, that assures me no one records…
(6:37 PM) me:    yo there are software out there that can record anything you know…
ain’t no safer on a website than it is on msn
(6:37 PM) scammer:    I mean… Do you want to see me on my cam?
Accept the invite, if you need the link again its http://twurl.nl/ypv3xf
(6:37 PM) me:    sure, just hit that video button on top
know what i’m sayin?
(6:38 PM) scammer:    Ok go to http://twurl.nl/egfy36 accept the invite on the page baby
(6:39 PM) me:    yo why does it need my credit card details?
i ain’t get no pussy yet
(6:39 PM) scammer:    sweet, fill out the info ur info.. i can not wait for you to see me baby let me find something nice to wear
(6:40 PM) me:    answer my q bitch
y u need my cc details
(6:40 PM) scammer:    sounds like the only bitch here is you! haha
its the sites policy to ensure no minors get access to the site, so they might ask for CC to verify your age babe.
(6:40 PM) me:    man i dunno dawg
(6:41 PM) me:    ive been fooled b4
(6:41 PM) scammer:    What color Panties do you think i should wear? i might have you favorite color here somewhere…
(6:41 PM) me:    and you kno what dey say
fool me once shame on u
(6:41 PM) scammer:    Your such a good boy, i’m gonna show you what good boys deserve.. you can tell me to do anything you want me too!
(6:41 PM) me:    fool me twice…shame on u again
okay okay
(6:41 PM) scammer:    Ok let me know when you get in so I can invite you directly to my cam.
(6:41 PM) me:    you getting me all hot and shit
and like that
(6:41 PM) scammer:    u have to enter a cc, atm, or debit card so they can tell your of age, thats the ony way to see me sweety :-(
(6:42 PM) me:    man, ok ok, ive been busted by the cops before for some underage shit
(6:42 PM) scammer:    hahaha!  call em! and tell them you are reporting a felony…  YOUR MULLET!!  You might wanna get that looked at!
(6:42 PM) me:    i need to know that you’re not some fat 40 yr old manbitch
(6:42 PM) scammer:    sounds like the only bitch here is you! haha
(6:42 PM) me:    yo yo listen up fool
(6:43 PM) scammer:    k you in yet babe??
(6:43 PM) me:    take a pic and send it to www.imgur.com
i just wanna make sure you real babe
get me?
(6:43 PM) scammer:    k
(6:43 PM) me:    and you gotta write this on your left hand
write “Hi there”
(6:43 PM) me:    so i know it’s you
(6:44 PM) me:    and not some random pic you got off gogle

“He/She” didn’t reply after that.

Being black and dumb is a lot harder than it looks.

Why is the internet gods torturing me with this nonsense?

I’m so lonely.