Archive for August, 2007

I S2 the following:

• Dragon Ball Z
• iGoogle
• Avant Window Navigator
• NextGen Computing
• ArrayLists
• wcexo.spaces.live.com
• Apple’s Aesthetical Philosophy
• Neowin.net
• Genie Zhuo’s Song "Liang San Bo Yu Zhu Li Ye"

Today felt good. I was semi-high…not quite HIGH…I like it when I’m high…I don’t care about anything and I say things which I may regret but I never do…

Maths was still boring as hell though…I can never be high during maths…I was semi high during cosc…I was doing extreme programming. I pretty much did all the work…I sorta feel bad cause it’s not that I don’t think my partner is capable of doing the work or anything I just feel that he’s rather slow…so we don’t form the best of teams. The best teams are teams where two people can think at around the same or similar speeds. Anywho, I was solving the solutions and as I was solving them I began saying them out as well…and in the end we got everything out which made me a happy panda.

I didn’t have breakfast…again…which made me hungry…

Oh yeah…I was meant to write something about Psychology. I’m loving Cognitive Science. It’s so interesting yet so scary at the same time. Imagine…living in a moment…yes…a moment…a moment in time where you have no recollection of your past, your memories…, who you are…or anything…you recognise objects…you perform daily routines without knowing that you’ve ever done it before.

50 First Dates may seem like a rather "cute" movie….but it’s not…in real life people with no short term memory can only remember things for up to 10minutes…and that’s after repetition…no way in hell can they last one whole day on short term memory. Now imagine if you will..that you have no short-term or long-term memory.

We were shown this clip of a man that has no "memory" of anything. Every couple of minutes he "wakes" up believing that for the first time in his life he was "conscious". What I found extremely amazing was the fact that he kept a diary…and every time he woke up he would write something in his diary. However, since he forgets so often he would look at his diary and see the past entries in his own handwriting. He would then cross those past entries out and write a new one. When asked who wrote the previous entries he would say he doesn’t know and he didn’t write them even though he admits its in his handwriting…

but…there’s a twist…ever so often he would write something like "My first thought is my love for Deborah who I cherish for ever xoxoxo" and other stuff along those lines…Deborah is his wife…who he doesn’t "remember" yet he "knows" that he loves her…it’s rather bizarre. Also all his procedural memory remains intact…which includes knowing how to perform daily activities. He would pick up a musical piece and begin playing it even though he has "never" done it before.

Today during the lecture…we were told how misleading "memory" can really be. I would often think about the event during Jase’s 18th with Kelvin arguing against everyone…I would confidently say that Kelvin…your mind is playing you…

We were told that…all memories fade with age no matter how "emotional" the event was. One can also argue that we tend to forget emotional memories at a greater extent. The only reason we actually think we remember is that we feed our brain false information creating false memories of the event that has actually happened. People can even take the memories of other people for their own. What’s most dangerous is this idea of repetition of events that has occurred, every time you retell a story you are editing it in some way or form. So how is this dangerous? If you keep on repeating an experience to others you end up with a different story…which you are EXTREMELY confident about that had occurred. Nobody can disprove you unless it was recorded on camera. If you don’t repeat it all the time and reflect on it…even though it may still be wrong you’re not too confident that it’s true and be more likely to blame your loss of memory. People are rather pompous…we don’t like being told that we’re wrong…especially if our memories are wrong (Kelvin?).

*sigh*

I don’t care. Even if I’m less ignorant on the matter of memory if somebody comes up to me and tells me that one of my more "sentimental" memories are false I’ll just tell them to fuck off.

But anywho…I went to Engo and bought lunch…went to S.I.T. and we began playing Dota…Lynden and I ended up beating Sam and Tim. It was good…had a 5:1 k/d ratio. Afterwards, people left and Terry came…and we took on some Asians at Dota. There’s on thing that I hate about Chinese people…they can openly bullshit to you…"(In fob accent) We newbies. Play only 1 week. Serious" and I’m just like thinking…"Dude…weren’t you just gossiping about Tim being a n00b just then?"

But yeah…we got owned which wasn’t cool. I really hate it when people stand behind you when you play a game…and as you die they go "Ha! Owned". Annoys me so much. I also get annoyed at people who can’t take jokes…or more precisely "dirty jokes". God…loosen up! Meh…I miss my crowd of people…who can take my jokes and actually LAUGH. Instead I have to cope the "It’s not funny…you’re just retarded" comments I get around certain people.

Anywho…I WANT MY PORKROLL! Especially when I notice other certain people…cuddling…*cough*cough*

Anywho…I’m home sweet home…cbb to do work…might watch some DBZ.

Final words:
There will be one memory that I’ll always hold onto…and that’s the memory of you. Without you in my memory all other memories are redundant.

Okay…this blog is officially under a dictatorship.

I now choose the people who can read this.

If you are one of the chosen ones and you clicked here because you saw the flashing star next to my name it can mean a number of possible things:

A) You are a close friend
B) You are somebody who won’t be offended by what I have to say
C) I respect you
D) I trust you******
E) You don’t really have an influence on the people around me…
F) I feel that you should have the "right" to read what I have to say…

******If you feel that you have the need to break this trust…I have nothing more to say to you

For the people who haven’t gained access…you obviously aren’t reading this…unless somebody copy pasted what I wrote…in which case IF I find out…I will happily take you off the list. Yes yes, I know…I didn’t want to have to come to this…but there are things that should be let out in this world and I think it’s about time I should blog about more shit. However, I shall stick by my number 1 rule…"No Names"…in the sense when I’m slapping the shit out of someone…

Those who have not been added:

A) I don’t like you…maybe I’ll like you in the future…but I don’t like you now
B) You don’t hold the right to read this blog
C) I have forgotten about you (in which case you can request to read my blog and I’ll "happily" add you)

It wasn’t as tough as I thought…doing this…maybe it’s cause of the series of events that happened today that made me want to HURT someone…please don’t be alarmed…it wasn’t anything serious…they were just tiny nitpicks that kept on adding to this ball of rage. Today…was one of those days where I just went "fuck it". I always feel better writing things down and I haven’t been doing that a lot recently. But I miss the days where it was a lot easier for me to write 1000 words. The record was a 3.4k word blog? Somewhere along those lines where I highlighted the events and hilarities of Kev’s sleepover…god that was an awesome blog.

Anywho…if you are the "chosen" ones…however, the list will be updated later…I’ll probably remove some people…but…yeah…even if my audience will become relatively smaller I can at least express the shitty things people say or do.

You may know of the people that I talk about you may not…but for those who do…please try and understand where I’m coming from otherwise…I guess you’re not a very nice person…but then again I’m not that nice of a person to be writing this but it’s better than saying shit to their face with other people around. *hint hint*

Maybe I’m being boyish…but jesus fucking christ it gets extremely frustrating sometimes when I’m with certain people.

Okay, I’m pretty sensitive when people insult personal aspects of my life. DON’T FUCKING do it. I swear to God, you might think I’m cool with it…but I may not. I realise you’re just joking but it still fucking hurts. Maybe I shouldn’t be swearing. Okay I won’t. Seriously…one person has done it (who might be reading this blog) and I swear to god I wanted to just jump up and smash the crap out of that person. It’s just not cool. I don’t want you to be walking on egg shells but I just want to say that sometimes just because you think I’m cool with something doesn’t mean I am…and saying sorry (if saying sorry at all) doesn’t make the situation any better. The most recent episode was yesterday and if it had been said in a worse tone of voice it would have been an awesome opportunity to just shout in their face. (Just to make things clear…that person isn’t on my allowed list *hint hint*)

Today was so ridiculous. We went to play pool after a certain class. It was 2 versus 1, me being by myself and I found myself in a situation where I was down by 3-4 balls. The guy just goes "I think we are winning" in that whispery, sarcastic tone which just makes my blood boil. It’s like "Okay…I’m losing…big deal…you didn’t have to point it out to me…I have eyes…I can count…I’m not a dumb crap like you". Ironically…when he was by himself he found himself in a situation where he was down 4-5 balls…after sinking 2 balls and missing the 3rd I spoke in the same whispery, sarcastic tone "I think we are winning". [Note: sarcastic tone doesn't mean he was being sarcastic] Arrogant prick.

We decided to go and buy some food but then this other guy and I decided that we’ll buy later so whilst the other person ate we played a game of Daytona. I won. We walked back and the dude is like "So who won?" *looks at the other guy* and then says his name. God…how can someone have so little respect for me?!?!?! I don’t ask much from people but this person thinks that he can walk over me and act if its perfectly fine. He’s done so many times and I just take the shit. But then afterwards I was being an ass and replied "Of course not." The other guy didn’t seem to be affected by the statement…just hope he doesn’t think I’m some egotistical fool.

We were playing Dota in the School of IT labs and I decided that I might as well play. I didn’t do as well as I had hoped but I did manage to get 5 kills…this all happened in the first 10 minutes but as the game progressed I just didn’t know how to play my hero any more But towards the beginning…I joined the game I was put into the sentinels side. They told me to move to the Scourge so I was like "Okay"…the dude thinks that I’m some kind of n00b and walks over to show me how to do it…I mean DUDE…I don’t ever want your help…not if its gonna make you more self-obsessed than you already are. Like come on…I’ve only had the game for like…4 years…I think I know how to change teams… Maybe he was trying to help…maybe HE WAS…but to me it was just another chance for him to shine. There should only be TWO people that can guess who this person is…one of which I doubt will be reading this blog.

I guess I’m caught between two personalities…one person shows no respect whatsoever in the most OBVIOUS ways…this other person at least has the decency to not be so direct. I seriously do not understand…I guess he just dislikes me for some reason. But I won’t discuss it any further…at least not today…not until he does something…further…

I met Kevin Kim first week back…and he asked how many people do B.I.T. I said I only know 4 people including myself…he made the statement that we must be pretty close…I lied. I told him "Yeah…" but in fact I’m more close to people that aren’t even doing Comp Science degrees! The irony…you’d think that we’d have heaps of similarities…but I’ve learned over the years that its the personality/attitude that needs to be similar in order for Friendships to form rather than the interest. If the person has both than GREAT…but unfortunately…if I may say so bluntly…we comp science people (including myself) are rather "arrogant"…at least in the computing world.

God…I just feel like raging at someone…but I’m always scared of the consequences of my actions…but yes…I do feel relatively better. I haven’t wrote a blog as long as this in quite some time…and I love using my ellipses.

Final remark: I’d rather have a "fobby" accent any day rather than lose my identity.