Last thing you'll ever read…again
Archive for September, 2006
Thoughts
Sep 30th
You know…I hate it when I’m expecting something. Cause generally when I’m expecting something to happen they don’t happen. I generally don’t expect much…lately it’s just small things but the success ratio ain’t that high.
The more I think about it the more crazy I ideas that I come up with and they don’t end up coming true so that sorta sucks. They never come true. The less I think about something the chances of it coming true is higher but then I again if I become conscious of what I’m thinking then I’ll just concentrate on the things that I don’t think often about and they end up not coming true. So the only things that actually come true are the things I don’t think up so eventually I end up becoming quiet surprised. I don’t mind that…I like surprises. Surprises are good. Waiting for "surprises" suck. Then again if you are waiting and thinking about a surprise chances are you won’t be surprised…again I’m faced with another dilemma.
So I have two options.
1. Sit there and just wait for something to happen
or
2. Go to bed
I’m leaning towards the latter but I feel that somehow I might be missing something though if I continue to wait I’ll just end up becoming more dissappointed. I guess it’s what happens to gamblers…they lose all their money and borrow more money in order to try and win it back…when they lose those they borrow more money. I guess you just need to learn when to stop and turn back.
Just the way I am…
Sep 26th
This morning I didn’t feel like doing anything…I didn’t feel like going to the graduation assembly…I didn’t feel like going to the bbq that was happening right after…I didn’t feel like going to the supposed k. I just wanted to…
Anyway, I’ll just blog about yesterday.
Yesterday was fucking awesome. Okay, it wasn’t all that great, it probably wouldn’t even sound that fun or exciting but it was! It was really fun, we had a great time and it was just a generally good experience. We went onto the streets raising money for "Youth off the streets"!!!
We arrived at Parra at about 8am and then we "quickly" branched off to begin fundraising. It was the BIGGEST failure ever.
Me: Hi would you like to donate to Youth…FINE!
*woman walks by without even acknowledging me*
At this point I was thinking up of a plan B. I dubbed it "Operation Parra High". i.e. get Sally and all her friends and force them to donate otherwise Henry will bukkake on them…okay…the bit about the bukkake isn’t true. But still…the operation never took place…we were just too cool.
I tried again but it was simply "Hi wouldya." or "Would you like to." They won’t even let me finish what I’m saying before shutting me down like a bitch. Who woulda thought Parra people were so mean.
But then we realised, it’s not the people’s fault…it was simply our location. So we walked down the stairs inside the station and tried again. This time we just stood there with a bucket infront of us. Pretty sad bunch really. You have 3 "big" (I use big cause Dennis isn’t taller than me) standing next to me with me getting dwarfed by them holding out a bucket with words written in like size 14 font which appear to be size 4 from arms length. We got like around 3 donations.
Then somebody came up with an idea…hmmm….I wonder who that was! No seriously. I don’t. But I do recall who bought the cardboard and the permanent marker! Me! Cost me $5.10 (yes I remember the exact price since I’m so asian). We drew up a little sign and then we began racking in more donations. It wasn’t fun just standing there waiting for people to donate…it was fun standing there looking like pathetic retards holding up a stupid sign and being ecstatic when somebody finally donates out of pity. Okay it wasn’t pity. They donated out of the kindness of their hearts. Yeah…right…no really, they did!
We then just walked around Parra and tried different locations. Henry and Dennis decided to go into Westfield or something so Kev and I simply went to this place and stood there for donations. That’s where we got out FIRST note donation. Ehehe…so happy.
THEN these two curry chicks came over!!! SCORE! What I’ve been waiting for all day.
Them: Hey! What school are you guys from?
Kev: Sydney High
Me: *at the same time* Sydney Boys High
Them: If your from Sydney Boys High School why isn’t it SBHS instead of SHS? *points to school crest on jersey*
Me: err…*shrugs*
Them: We don’t have change…but we’ll be back.
They never came back. Yeah…I know…*tears*
Then we went inside Westfield looking for Henry and Dennis and we nearly fell asleep on the sofas. I so would have fell asleep but you know nature calls…not really…it was just time to eat.
The next hour or two was just lame. We went to Galaxy World which was sooooo bad. The one at Parra was sooo worn out it wasn’t funny. Sooo many broken machines.
Anyway, Kev and I decided to raise some more money so we went back to the station.
THEN I had a great idea!!! BE THE HOBO…actually I was just tired. So I sat down on the ground and placed the sign in front of me so it made me took like a hobo. I got SOOOO many people’s attention. Nearly everybody looked at what was on the sign but still the proportion of donations weren’t that much.
Then I had an even greater idea! It began with me and Kev talking and laughing at hilarious online pics which included "Will code HTML for food" and "Need money for beer and hookers. Hey, at least I’m not bullshitting you". I soooo wanted to write the latter as more people will understand it but it won’t do any good for raising money or the reputation of our school so I simply wrote the former on the other side. It was HILARIOUS!!!
I flipped the sign and was talking to Kevin, so I wasn’t aware of the people that were walking by. This asian chick saw it and the look she gave me was 110% wtfness. It was absolutely gold. OMG, it was a pure wtf look. It was sooo wtf that the first words of her children will be "what the fuck?!" Yep.
This 5 year old girl read the "proper" sign and she gave me a look that made it look like I’m crazy. It was just a look of shock and digust. The sign just read "Youth off the streets. Please Donate 
". Ah well, she’ll understand one day.
". Ah well, she’ll understand one day.So yesterday was pretty fun. We raised about 50 or so bucks which isn’t that great but it helps.
Oh god I don’t feel like writing anymore.
Okay so today, I had to go to school by myself cause my dad had to leave work at like 1. I missed by train by like two minutes so that was a piece of crap I was fearing that I won’t make it but I made it fine. I got there and people were signing shirts and so I throw my shirt on the table for people to sign…three people managed to sign it before we had to go. My parents made it as well which was pretty cool, along with my bro. Who knows maybe my bro will too go to High. I sent my bro to school today and we had a chat.
Me: James.
James: mmm?
Me: Do you have a girlfriend?
James: NOOOOOO! Do you have a…friend?
Me: *wtf* Err…yes.
James: At school?
Me: Err…yes
*pause*
Me: Do you like any girls?
James: NOOO!
Me: Come on…you can tell me. Do you like any girls?
James: NOOO!
Me: Do you find any girls pretty?
James: NOOO!
Me: Do you find any girls ugly?
James: *in an extremely white accent* Wo bu zi dao (Translation: I don’t know)
Me: Come on…do you find any girls ugly?
James: *in an extremely white accent* Wo bu zi dao
Yes…my bro is sooo cool. Much more cooler than I. *sigh* Never even used him to fish…guess I never needed to 
Oh snap!!!!!!! Okay I’ll shutup now. If Kev, Kelv or Jase is reading this…STFU I know what your thinking. Bitches. Go die.
Oh snap!!!!!!! Okay I’ll shutup now. If Kev, Kelv or Jase is reading this…STFU I know what your thinking. Bitches. Go die.Okay anyway, what was I saying? Ah yes…farewell assembly. It was probably the most memorable assembly I will ever have. They mentioned the forum!!! OMG, I knew deep down everybody was thinking "Yes, we love the forum, thank god John made a forum." Okay okay, I doubt anybody was thinking that. I wasn’t even thinking that. All I was thinking was "Holy shit they mentioned the forum." I got my 50miliseconds of fame. *sigh* I am sorta dissapointed that I’m not really given any recognition for the forum. But you know you can’t raelly expect much.
Okay I really cbf typing any more but basically…we had food…got our gift…and headed off to bbq. Our gift is pretty damn sweet. It’s a keyring! But it looks really nice and not "Made In China" I wish I can have another one so I can use it and preserve mine. I was about to use it but then Kelv and Jase sorta influenced me not to. So yes any of y’all don’t want the keyring I’ll buy it off you! Pretty please?
After bbq we went to galaxy world, where we played Daytona and I finally started to use manual and I didn’t do a bad job of it so I’m pretty happy with that
After gworld Robin and I decided to go home since it was 7:30. I just feel sooo guilty about spending so much time out and not enough time studying. Guess I’m not really helping by being online now and typing up this blog. So yeah got home
During the BBQ, my dad called me…well technically he called Kevin but he wanted me.
It was hilarious, my phone somehow got switched off so my dad had this idea of checking the phone bill for numbers that I’ve dialed. He picked one and it just happened to be Kevins (phew) and he even guess that it was Kevin! As in he was like "Is this Kevin?". Pretty damn funny. But so lucky that he picked the "right" number. I guess I have to make more calls to random people to increase the odds of them picking the "right" number. Hehe.
Okay, that’s it for me today. I’m gonna upload the YOTS pics which we took. So check those out.
I’ll be missing you
Sep 23rd
Every step I take, every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray
Ill be missing you
Thinkin of the day, when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break
Ill be missing you
Every single day, every time I pray
Ill be missing you
Thinkin of the day, when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break
Ill be missing you
1 + 1 = 10
Sep 21st
High School is coming to an end so naturally you have people saying that how sad it is and how it’s the best time of your life etc etc.
Well I have to agree…it is sad…but I can’t say that it is the best time of my life…since I haven’t lived out my life yet. Those who say that it really is the best time of their life without having actually GRADUATED…yet…are simply ignorant.
But even though I’ve yet to live out my life, I can honestly say that it will NOT be the best time of my life. Sure I have some sweet memories…but then again who doesn’t? I’m sure there are memories back in Primary School which you still cherish.
During the compscience lecture at UNSW open day the lecturer was like "Uni will be the best time of your life", I sorta laughed sarcastically when he said it. I find it rather "stupid" how Primary School teachers will say that Primary School will be the best times of their childhood lives…High School Teachers saying how great High School is and then you have Uni Lectures promoting uni life. But then you don’t get employers telling you that having your job will be the best times of your life.
Seems like its only yesterday that I’m being told that the six years at High School will whizz past…by people like my parents…teachers like Ms. Gilmore.
It’s all good I guess. We never appreciate anything until we’ve truly lost it. I guess that’s why you have rich people losing over hundreds of thousands of dollars due to gambling and feeling satisfied.
I’m a once a weeker…
Sep 17th
I would like to do it more frequently but you know sometimes I’m just not in the mood. Other times its cause I’m too busy with something else but whatever the reason I generally get it done at least once a week.
Well here’s this week’s weekly blog. Jesse apparantly has withdrawal symptoms and I’m not sure whether to feel flattered or disturbed.
First thing’s first. As you can see…there is a Poll on my blog. Please vote. Those are NOT radio buttons merely graphics. So if you were to click any of those you’d be voting! So yes, please vote and comment on the poll too if you wish. Try and keep it to one person = one vote.
I think I’ll have another bitch.
Okay the thing with Open Days is that often the people you EXPECT to go don’t (i.e. the people who claim they want to do Med or Com/Law). Well I’ve only noticed that with 3 people but that’s a large enough group for me to bitch about.
Generally the reply to "How come you didn’t go to Open day?" is "I know what I’m going to do so why bother?" or something along those lines and perhaps less blunt. IDIOTS.
Jesus, are your world that narrow?! Do you know 100% what you are going to do in life?! They think that their course will be so great that it’ll get them a job that will earn them lots of money and they’ll have a happy life in a beachside house. I have to say that lecture I went to on UNSW was perhaps the BEST lecture/talk/speech/whatever you like to call it thingo I’ve ever listened to. He’s like what’s the point of having a high paying job that’s going to get you lots of money if you spend 1% of your time spending it and then 99% of the time making it?
What pisses me off even further is how some people tend to undermine some courses/subjects. E.g. "Software Design? Pfft…go do a real subject." Good work dickhead you just proved what an ignorant fucker you are, I hope you fail to get into med or com/law.
It’s sorta hilarious when reading people’s reactions when I tell them what I want to do.
Random: So what do you want to do in uni?
Me: Well I’m interested in Computer Science.
Random: Oh…what’s the uai for that?
Me: Um…75 at USYD and 85 at UNSW.
Random: I see…
I do not know ANYBODY that is interested in computer science and honestly I don’t mind. No matter how much you put down a computing course I can use the same shit you use to defend/support med or com/law.
Argument: Everybody gets sick and will need a doctor or everybody will need a lawyer sometime in their life.
Counter argument: Everybody uses a computer…fag.
Argument: It’s good money.
Counter argument: MICROSOFT
Argument: I get free coffee?
Counter argument: Want some cream?
So as you can see Computer Science is not too bad of a career path.
I’ll probably be happy earning 100k a year. I don’t need no beachhouse with a 60inch LCD TV with 8.1 surround sound stereos, and state of the art shit if I have NO TIME to appreciate it.
A stable job which you enjoy, a roof to live under, food to eat, to be able to love someone and also be loved is all I’ll ever ask for. (no specific order)
Edit:
@Francis – each generation should do better than the previous right? 100k may seem like a lot but I reckon it’s a rather reasonable sum for the average person graduating from our school after say 3-5 years of fulltime work.
@Henry – Rupert Murdoch? And what double meaning? You and your sick mind Henry. tsk tsk *shakes head* *changes song* Also take no offence in my rant on com/law it isn’t really directed at anyone…or at least nobody that reads my blog
You can’t be told what it is…
Sep 10th
…you have to experience it yourself.
I love Matrix.
I have an English essay to do in class tomorrow and a major software project due tomorrow. I also need to write up my co-op application and it seems like I’m heavily short on time. I need to give UAC or UNSW a call to find out the real deal with my courses. I thought UNSW open day cleared up EVERYTHING for me but apparently it screwed me in the face once I actually tried to apply. An error message popped up and yes I am really pissed about it.
On one aspect of my life I’m content and fulfilled. On the other I’m still battling through.
I guess it’s just the way things are. You feel happy for one thing but there will always something to be upset about. Once it’s all over I probably worry over my career.
I honestly CANNOT understand why people become interested in Med or Com-Law. Oh and please do not give me a 2 page essay of a comment explaining the reason why cause I’m not interested.
It’s like okay Med. How does one become interested in Med? Don’t give me the shitty excuse of "I like helping people". Bullshit. There are other ways of helping people apart from being a doctor. I can honestly say I help people on a day to day basis. There are a sizeable amount of people who come to me for computer advice. Not too long ago this guy who I hardly talk to directly actually called me up to help him with something. See? I help people too without having to go through 7 years of training and paying god knows how much simply to become an intern and finally run my own practice by the age of like 40 just to HELP people.
Okay okay. But seriously. How do people get interested? Through television? Parents? Friends or relatives? But then again how does anyone get interested in anything? I’m interested in computers cause I use one everyday and I’m amazed by the things a computer can do in which we humans cannot.
Then there’s com-law. These people deserve to die for being "interested" in it. I only know ONE person who does it but I always hear people going "I’m going to do com-law". Great work, what gave you the motivation to decide on that? Hmmm…you like money and you like ripping people off along with lying, deceit, misinformation and what not so I guess com-law suits you fine.
You have absolutely NO worldly experience with anything to do with real life commerce and law so what makes you want to do it?! We have enough accountants in this world and we sure don’t need any more lawyers. Do you know why people hate lawyers so much? Let me just say to those people who don’t hate lawyers, you guys havent had a lawyer! I used to not hate lawyers but then shit happens. I’m not saying I’ve had a lawyer but my parents sure have had lawyers, I’m glad we sacked her ass.
But then you argue "Oh but you don’t have to be a lawyer if you do law". Okay…so what the hell do you do eh?
30% of all law students actually follow up on law once they graduate. The rest just branch off to some other division.
You know what I think? Those 70% realised what a mistake doing law was thus branched off and the 30% want to branch off but can’t due to their fucked situation.
Okay I’m done. I just wanted to bitch about something.
Number of hidden meanings in this blog: 1
Run Away
Sep 8th
It’s been some time since I last made an entry. I feel apathetic. My previous blog was rather disheartening. It’s another one of those rare occassions where I just decide to snap.
Well what can I say about this week?
I’m still tired. My nose is still blocked and I feel like crap.
Dad: What did your son get in economics?
Mum: *says something which I can’t recall* 61 out of 100
Me: Hehe
Dad: That’s not very good
Mum: You can’t really expect him to do that well
Me: I never wanted to continue it in the first place
Mum: See? That’s your son. That’s his attitude when you make him do something that he doesn’t want to do. He shows you how bad he can do.
This is soooo true. I remember Chinese. Second last in my class/grade. I didn’t care too much and I guess the same thing is happening right now. Last in my class as far as I know. Getting beaten by people who hardly ever try. I have a theory. Make me do what I don’t like and I’ll do my worst, make me make my own decisions and I’ll do better than ever.
Ah well. You know I really feel like going to sleep now but I feel like I’ll be not using up most of my time since time is precious.
Trials seem so long ago but it’s only been one week. So much have happened. UNSW open day and what had happened afterwards, Diep’s sleepover and getting my results back.
I really hate having things to hide things cause then I’m restricted in what I’m able to say or do or write. Most people probably know and the rest probably can speculate.
I remember writing a blog entry WAAAAAAY back and I remember Sally talking to me about it regarding on my views on it. It was to do with putting the blame on people and me not wanting to do it.
Well you know…
Only 6 more weeks until HSC. Only 3 weeks left till end of school. I feel rather sad.
Never ever? Never ever.
Sep 1st
You wonder why people are fucking scared of doing things. You wonder why people are scared of being fucking laughed at. You wonder why we bag out those who don’t do shit. But you know it’s just that. People are scared of being laughed at.
Fucking idiots. Losers. Scum of the earth. Dickheads who you thought were all cool until they open up their filthy mouths uttering shit which they think is a joke. Good fucking work. Go on and die. If I were to say the same shit to you, you probably chuck a pysche, hypocritical sons-of-bitches.
But you know from what I’ve noticed it’s the people that are close to you that never say sorry. They never do. It’s funny cause you expect them to but they don’t. On many occassions it’s always the friends that are not so close that end up caring. You expect other people to care or perhaps care more but in the ends its those people who you don’t really expect to care that comes and wraps an arm around you.
Fuck.
Sometimes they make you feel good, other times they make you feel like crap. Things never work out the way you want it to, it seems like your the only person that cares and everybody else just don’t give a rats arse.
Shitcunts.
~17 Hours later
Still feel like crap. I don’t think I did too bad with my exam but I still felt crap. Meh. I don’t know. It’s like generally when I come out of an exam room and I know I did crap I don’t really feel that crap just relieved that it’s all over. This time however, I didn’t feel relieved at all knowing that trials were over. It’s over. Big whoop. Doesn’t mean shit.
You know ever since primary school the one that I’ve never learnt but always been told is "just ignore them". Honestly, ignoring assholes may be the hardest thing ever. You have dickheads running around shouting shit here and there and you can’t do shit. It just frustrates me.
It’s so easy being ignored but when it comes to ignoring it’s near impossible.
I guess I’ll just have to prepare myself for the results. No guarantess.
