Last thing you'll ever read…again
Archive for May, 2006
You gotta feel like crap in order to feel good.
May 30th
Last night I felt like crap. Caught the cold. Picture this. Me wearing a t-shrit, a jacket and another woolly overcoat on top of that. I had a tissue with one end up one nostril and the other one up the other nostril. Sorta like a bull ring. That stayed that way for at least 3 hours.
I actually got some work done, did English and Maths. MSN wasn’t that big of a distraction. The trick is not to reply 
Though replying about drinking period blood was not at the top of my agenda.
Though replying about drinking period blood was not at the top of my agenda.So yes I was feeling like utter crap. It was sorta good at the same time, cause I don’t seem to care about anything…and this uncaringness was a good feeling. Simply wanted to get the work done and then go to sleep not caring about anything else.
In the end I went to sleep at 10:30 and woke up with a really good feeling. Like you know when you wake up after having a really good dream? That’s exactly what happened.
Maybe it’s my subconscious taunting me but the dream was pretty "good".
It’s so weird as well. I’m standing in a doorway holding my in-class Economics essay and there’s this random chick who I’ve never seen before standing next to me in the doorway and she seems to be writing something on paper. All of a sudden she sorta sways into me and then apologises.
Random Chick: *looks at my name on essay* Wow you have really nice handwriting.
Me: That’s just the front it gets really messy inside. *flips through pages*
RC: So you sitting next to any girls in your class?
Me: Yeah
Now that’s not true. In SEC I sit next to Yimin (nooooo!!! /darth vader) But I guess it’s relating to something else.
RC: (Disappointed) Aww
*Teacher walks in*
I can’t remember his name! He’s the dude I had last term for English but I just can’t remember his name!
Me: Hey! Remember me?
Teacher: Oh here…*hands me work* Were you here last week?
Me: I’m not in your class
Teacher: Oh
Me: Damn I forgot your name…what’s your name…
RC: Jesse
Me: Oh that’s right!
Now wtf. His name is NOT Jesse. Jesse must also be screwing around in my subconscious lately. Good thing I didn’t dream about him otherwise that would be screwed.
I tend to have the weirdest dreams when I’m sick. After that I just woke up, checked the time and it was like 5:30am or something. I wanted to get back into my fantasy world and continue dreaming but like all dreams that just isn’t possible. But the thing was when I woke up I wasn’t feeling sick at all. I was feeling great, it’s like I was never sick at all. This is probably my fastest recovery ever.
But yes, I guess last night was just a reminder for me to stop screwing around and do more work.
And for your information gentlemen, yes, the Random Chick was nice. *rolls eyes* They always are 
Just keep rollin’
May 28th
I had created a "Quotes" category ages ago. But I only made 1 post in it. I guess this will be my second
Here’s a memorable quote from "Girl Next Door"
Eli: Matt, she’s a porn star! Okay? Take her to a motel room and bang her like a beast!
Matthew: Eli, I like this girl.
Eli: And you can still like her with your penis inside her.
Matthew: Eli, I like this girl.
Eli: And you can still like her with your penis inside her.
Here’s another memorable quote from a friend (some of you know might "know" this person…take a stab at who it is if you want)
"why is it that people always want to ruin friendships? I mean… honestly, can no male and female have a platonic relationship???"
And let’s finish it off with a Matrix quote:
Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead… only try to realise the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Spoon boy: Then you’ll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
Neo: What truth?
Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Spoon boy: Then you’ll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
Want a dumplin?
My blog is just so damn popular…/sarcasm
May 23rd
My blog is so popular that even my dad wants to read it. Uh huh. You read it right. My dad.
Last night I was online…yet again. Dad came home and I immediately Control-Spaced. I’ve long developed the blank face look to perfection.
I shit you not. I actually have a cheesy smile on my face when I "haha" online. Well generally anyways, I rarely type "haha" just to pass the time but if I do then I guess a) I must be really bored b) you must be really boring c) I can’t be screwed writing anything else
If I don’t do a follow up message to the "haha" then you know it’s one of those three. I guess in some sense its similar to "lol" but then again…meh…you get the point.
So anyways, Dad came home, Control-Spaced and got the cheesy smile off my face. I do this for one reason…if I don’t then my dad will interrogate me.
"Why are you smiling?"
"What are you smiling at?"
"Who are you talking to?"
Generally the responses are "nothing" or "nobody" in which then he leaves me to myself and the internet again.
Yesterday however it was yet another late night welcome. He got back, I said "Hi" etc and then at around 11 he walks into the room. Most of the time he just tells me that I should go to sleep and adds a "You need to wake up early tomorrow" if appropriate and so on and so forth. Last night it was different.
Me: *hears footsteps* Crap *control-spaces* *turns on blank face*
Dad: How come I can’t access your web log?
Me: *holy shit!!!* huh?
Dad: I can’t access your web log. Why did you restrict it?
Me: Um…because…(I haven’t used ‘because’ as a response since like year 2, I must be really desperate)
Dad: Cause I saw you typing the other day…
Me: Okay…
Dad: Why would you write a web log and not let anybody see it?
Me: Why do you want to read it?
Dad: I just want to read about what you write.
Me: Have you read it before? *crosses fingers*
Dad: Yes…
Me: *dear mother of god*
Dad: …but it was a long time ago
Me: Do you remember what you read?
Dad: No, it was a long time ago.
Me: *I’m saved!* I see
So yes, if you haven’t realised my blog has been privatised. *sniff* No more random people. Though I must say I haven’t been getting much randoms commenting.
Jesus, this chick from Melbourne added me. It was sooo annoying. In the end, I blocked and deleted her. Sad thing was she called me her "friend". Damn those people who make friends in like 1 day. How can you consider someone a friend right after you meet them especially online?! Beats me. Though friendship is a mutual thing huh? Muuch like trust and perhaps love.
Though I guess the good thing is that I know that everybody who does read my blog are people who I know.
Oh yeah…the gleams in my MSN are screwed. So if you happened to have written a blog…I WON’T be able to see it. Pfft…Francis is the only one whom actually bothers to write every now and then. The rest are either:
a) Watching porn (If this is you…then you need to click here)
b) Lurking on other people’s blogs (you know who you are)
c) Chatting to their buddies about shit knows what
d) studying 24/7 to get beaten by people who does 1/2 the work
Oh yeah…I passed my 9000th view. It’s gonna be a slow journey to 10k. Since I disabled photoalbum and privatised my blog…views are generated simply through the blog itself.
Meh…I’m outie.
Pork Roll or Chicken Roll?
May 17th
Say you are hungry and the only food you can buy is either a pork roll or chicken roll.
Trouble is, there is only ONE pork roll and ONE chicken roll. You haven’t tasted either in a long time and need to work out which one to take. Added to this is the fact that you can’t eat it for another 6 hours as it is not time for eating.
So you’re standing there. Thinking…"Should I get a pork roll or chicken roll?" You only get one shot at this. If you take one you can’t take the other and since you have 6 hours you have to make sure to make the right decision, you wouldn’t like to realise that you made a wrong decision on which roll to take after 3 hours would you?
So then you list the disadvantages and advantages of each and their similarities. Well firstly, it’s all white meat so I guess there’s nothing to worry about there. The chicken may be a tad more expensive though that’s not really a problem. Though buying a chicken roll would involve getting tomatoes…I don’t really like tomatoes. Though on a plus side you’ll get some lettuce! However you can tell the person not to put any tomatoes on the chicken roll.
The pork roll on the other hand would taste much sweeter. It doesn’t come with any lettuce but it does have carrots. Though with a small added extra you can easily ask for some lettuce. I like lettuce.
With a chicken roll, it may seem you are getting more as you can taste the chicken more. Though with a pork roll you get THREE different looking pieces of pork. It comes in red, white and a mix of the two.
But there is the possibility that the chicken is off and you wouldn’t really want to take the pork roll with the conscious that you took it because the chicken was bad.
To be continued…
How I procrastinate…
May 15th
4:15 - Gets home
4:15 – Food + lying down on sofa
5:30 – Dinner
6:00 – Shower
6:15 – Arrive at desk to realise only Maths and English work need to be accomplished
6:30 – Lies on bed…thinking (nothing suss)
7:30 – Gets a glass of apple juice
7:32 – Hops on to comp to start on English
7:45 – Messes around with WMP11 library
8:00 – Opens Word
8:10 – Realises that I already have a copy of the pre-assessment radio interview written up thus decide to work on Maths
8:15 – Looks for WMP skins
8:30 – *I have no idea what happened here*
8:50 – Gets a cup of coffee
8:55 – Finishes coffee and gets Maths textbook out
9:00 – Decides to write up a small blog
9:02 – Realises I have 10 sets of physics to do
Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where do you get your jollies?
May 13th
I mean everybody gets excited over something which someone else have no concerns for right? Like for example, Kelvin gets excited everytime a Laker get’s scratched due to an offcourt incident. Thoman Wong takes it a bit further, he gets an orgasm everytime he gets back an exam, I swear to god the guy gets off on his exam paper. Then there are those who gets excited over anything and everything. Conversely there are also people who gets excited over nothing.
For me, I get excited when a new version of a particular software gets released 
I dunno, I like new stuff, software is probably the easier out of anything to keep up with, mainly because its free (or made "free" ).
).Okay, Windows Live Messenger got released ages ago but I didn’t install it. There were no mess patch and there isn’t a Plus! addon that is compatible with it.
But now there is.
That’s my MSN setup. Doesn’t that look nice? I got rid off all the random buttons, made it all nice and pretty. The other windows are just some of the features I’m showing off HTML chatlogging is awesome, makes things a lot clearer. The tabbed convos are awesome though there is a bug with it right now.
HTML chatlogging is awesome, makes things a lot clearer. The tabbed convos are awesome though there is a bug with it right now.Pfft, WLM is beta and so is WLM plus. So I’m using a beta addon ontop of beta software. To put it simply it’s like drinking milk that’s not homogenised and then adding Milo which haven’t been properly processed. Haha, not a very good analogy but at least you get the point.
Also, I discovered that somebody inside Microsoft leaked Windows Media Player 11!!! It was going to be released on the 17th but then I decided to downlaod and install it anyways. It’s pretty neat I must say.
That’s another screenie whcih I took this time of WMP11 Doesn’t it look pretty?
Hehe, I really should get a move on, on our major SD project.
Pride and Image.
May 12th
I reckon some people’s pride get the best of them. This insatiable need to be right.
Just in case…this wasn’t triggered by the picking money off the ground shit Kelvin (just in case if he’s reading…can never be too sure any more).
Remember the Cronulla Riots? How come no Asians were involved? How come no Asians stood up and said "Let’s join the wogs to take down the skips"? Maybe it just wasn’t our battle. I mean whilst they were all "Let’s go to Maroubra Beach and start something" we Asians were like "Let’s stay as far as possible from Maroubra". Well my mum was like that when I told her I was planning to go to Alan’s place. I had nothing to fear (no reason to) but she was making it seem like a big deal.
Asians don’t like to get involved into fights. They would rather sit back and watch others fight than joining in on a fight or perhaps stopping it. In my opinion, Asians don’t prefer to get involved in anything. If a man were to fall on the ground I doubt any Asian would have the reaction time fast enough to do anything. Asians have no concern for anything else unless it has a direct impact on them or people they know.
However, when it gets personal any Asian would probably stand up to defend themselves, though I find we Asians are less likely to drop an arguement especially if they were accussed of being wrong (now you wonder why we never lose a debating match). Some people like to get into your face to show you their righteousness. Its like "dude…you’re right…nobody cares, have a cookie".
Okay okay, you’re probably getting mad now…pissed off even. I have generalised hugely. Maybe I have particular people in mind when I’m writing this though I also have passive people in mind too which contradict what I write. It doesn’t matter. We all have our generalisations and our stereotypes.
I guess I can see how Chaitu can hate being Indian or whatever. I can’t say I hated being Asian but there was this period that I figured what an easier life I would have lived if I wasn’t Asian (namely the period when I first came to Aus). I was thiinking, if I was born white I wouldn’t have to have this problem of migrating, no problem with speaking English and most of all no problem in relearning my native language. It’s pretty sad, I can’t read or write Chinese. I don’t have any problems with being Chinese. I still have my pride, patriotism if you like. I guess the biggest problem I have right now are Westernised Asians. They seem to forget where they’ve come from. Fine, you live in Australia, you may be considered Australian but one look at you will show that you are not FROM Australia.
I might just snap inside if I ever hear some Asian (whether migrated or born in Aus) saying that they are Australian when asked where they’re from. I haven’t come acrossed it yet and probably would not like to. Though a great fear I have is probably being too Westernised myself. Seriously I cannot see myself in the future cooking Asian dishes. The process is just soo complicated, all the washing and preperations. It takes my mum two days to prepare a dinner when inviting guests over.
Okay pride is done…moving on to image.
The worst question to be asked if "What do you think of ‘Insert name here’" or "Is ‘insert name here’ a nice person?" Any questions along those lines I hate.
The response will always be one sided. You can try and be objective but that would involve going "Well, he’s blood type is O negative, and he has dark brown eyes…ERGO…"
You can ask one hundred people about someone and you’ll get one hundred different responses. You might as well get to know the person yourself and have a opinion for yourself which is infinately better than asking others about what they think.
How well do you know someone? I mean you may think that you know someone but in fact you don’t. Everybody has something to hide, everybody has secrets. I mean you can pretend to me somebody thinking that’s the type of person somebody else prefers to see…though you can only pretend for so long.
That said…today’s Gu’s lesson was totally fucked. 6 degrees of seperation people! You can end up going out with your cousin if you’re not careful. Things sure are more…heated when Ying’s around huh?
69 a porcupine
May 9th
Whoop de do. Exams are all done and over with for now. 7 more weeks and it starts all over again. 5 more weeks after that and we have our trials. After trials, my birthday sits comfortably in between that and the HSC. Then of course is the HSC followed by the formal, followed by Christmas, followed by New Year and then it’s a brand new beginning or end for everybody.
Year 7, probably the worst year of High School. Latin, Greek, French, German…there are just so many bloody languages I can handle. It was the year everybody grouped together in terms of the ‘House’ you were in.
Year 8, probably the second worst year. Chinese was okay, I actually got Distinction, until Cao left replaced by Wang I think. God. There were also German. Why the hell did I pick two languages?! Argh well doesn’t really matter, I probably got more out of it…yeah through sleeping throughout German. The only memorable lessons that I have of German is sleeping in class on a hot summers day whilst a video is playing. The only upside in year 8 was probably going through GPS soccer. Hehe, coaches were hilarious. Have to remember the last game though, I managed to score two goals. After I scored Seoul (no idea how to spell his name) was like "John that doesn’t count! It only counts if you JUGGLE the ball into the goals." Hehe love that stuff, probably the best "proper" coach I’ve had.
Year 9, year 9 was pretty good. Though that was the year in which my spirit literally got crushed. Half yearly commerce, studied like a bitch. Studied every single inch of everything, confident that I’ll do decent and still ended up getting Distinction, ONE mark off a high distinction. I have no idea how many times I’ve listened to "In the End" that day/week. This was also the year where the Tyranny of Zhang began…
Year 10 was probably my best year. It IS my best year. Damn, managed to get my act together academically (despite still not making it onto the merit list). Got a High Distinction in Science (how that happened I still don’t know) a distinction in Maths and a distinction in English. My first ever distinction average for the three main subjects. Soccer was probably the most hilarious. Actually, in the beginning I was chucking such a big psyche. Hoping to get into C’s soccer or even somehow B’s but got put into D’s. I probably did deserve it but still it sorta seperates the bullshit artists from those who are genuine. The bullshit artists being those who kiss ass. I did end up Having Alan Chou as coach so that was awesome. He was the best "coach" I’ve had. I’ve also scored more goals in that season than any other. Even got a hatrick Basketball was awesome, got into our little 6th Grade team (or half a team). Though that was also the year I had a small beef with some Joeys dicks. Who would’ve thought that that would be my last year of basketball. *sniffs* Another memerable moment in Year 10.
Basketball was awesome, got into our little 6th Grade team (or half a team). Though that was also the year I had a small beef with some Joeys dicks. Who would’ve thought that that would be my last year of basketball. *sniffs* Another memerable moment in Year 10.Zhang: Because I shifted the assessment marks there have been two grade changes. Richard has now moved down to a Credit from a Distinction (or was it Distinction from a High Distinction?) and John has moved up from a Pass to a Pass with Merit.
Me: *contemplates what she just said*
Me: *Processes data*
Me: *thinks*That means…I get a better grade!!!*thinks*
Me: *shouts out* Yes!!!
Class: *laughs*
Nobody can take my pass with merit away from me! Nobody!
Year 11. Highlights included making it onto the merit list and had an argument with my soccer coach whilst on the FIELD. Probably the shittest year of soccer ever. People were like "Man feel sorry for you got moved up." in my mind I was thinking "Watson is still better than the coach we have now". I was sorta surprised that I got moved up, I can’t say it was more enjoyable but at least I didn’t have to cop the shit from my coach.
Coach: John move up!
Some random: Move down!
Me: *moves up*
Coach: John what are you doing?! I told you to move down!
Me: WTF?! *moves down*
Some other random: What are you doing? I’m here.
Me: *Moves up*
Coach: John. Move down!!!
*ball somehow comes to my foot, I walk up couple of steps and just boots the ball into the goals whilst looking extremely extremely pissed*
Me: *Chucks a major psyche at the coach*
Coach: Do you want to get off the field John?
At that moment I’m just thinking…"Wait, if Kenny is the captain and you’re a player on the team and there’s no evidence of a coach who are you to be telling me what to do?"
During last game of the season:
Me: *at Kenny*Can I play for your team?
Coach: No.
Diep: Why not?
Coach: Cause he’s already played a game.
At that moment I was just thinking "You guys have a full team yet you decided to bring 3 extra old boys to ‘help out’. Great work dude. Have a cookie"
I also reckon he had a grudge against me as he might have read my blog or maybe somebody told him that I disliked him in some way or form. Doesn’t matter. All I can say is that even though Alan Chou can’t coach for bananas he at least is a decent coach.
Well year 12 is getting there. But I gotta say Year 12 has been awesome thus far. Despite the workload, I’ve gotten through heaps of ‘stuff’ lately. *STFU noobs*
*patiently waits*
Edit: Also decided to move the WMP module to the side. Most of you probably have music playing in the first place and would much like it stopped. It might not look good there but I guess makes some people happy.
*patiently waits*
Being coool
May 4th
Maybe I should take an IQ test followed by a bunch of personality tests from random websites. Do a study on my pyschological self. Ask all my friends what they think of me, ask those who aren’t my friends what they think of me. I then should proceed on doing "What’s sort of celeb personality are you?" or "What does your phone number tell about yourself" or "The dream test" or any of those random tests they have on the internet which tell you what you want to hear though nothing valuable in general. Then I shall proceed to getting all the results and posting it in a single blog for all to see and use it to deeply change my way of thinking, acting, behaving and personality in general. After that I shall replace all my songs on my MP3 player with those "self esteem improvement" crap and "how to be a better person" crap for me to listen to and from school. If that’s not enough I’ll rant everything to people in order to hear sympathy from them, listening to stuff like "Don’t worry, your unique" or "You’re perfect just the way you are". Finally I’ll post another blog relating to my episodes and hopefully become a better person.
Seriously. Who the fuck cares?
Every now and then I get told about something or rather relating to what somebody else thinks of me. I then go through several stages:
1. Curiosity
2. Surprise
3. Acknowledgment
4. Acceptance
5. Not-caringness (anybody know of a better word?)
I was just thinking about that lame site crush007.com where you create a link send it to your friends and they write down all these personal info like who they like and how many times they masterbate etc and then that info get sent to the server and you get notified and check up on it. Seriously, does it make you feel better knowing? Wouldn’t it be better if you just didn’t know? Ignorance is a powerful tool. I mean if somebody thought that porn is only for 30 year olds…*cough*cough* then wouldn’t it be a much better world to live in knowing that, rather than a more realistic age of let’s say 13?
Argh, sorta reminds me of that thing I put up some time ago that "personality traits" box with all those words and you select the one that best matches you. Damn, why on Earth did I put that up. I still don’t know which lame ass put "John Jiang II" as their name.
How many times have you heard or been told "Treat others the way you want to be treated"? It’s a fair enough statement but would you want to treat somebody who treats you like shit nicely? I mean it’s a lose lose situation for you. If you were to use "Treat others the way you want to be treated" on them do you really think they’re gonna turn around and think "Wait…yeah…I should do that huh?" I mean if you were treated like a prince/princes no matter what you do, is there really an incentive to treating others nicely? Sure you won’t be liked but it’s not like anybody is gonna spit it in your face.
And finally, I’m into Savage Garden now. It was Saturday or Sunday, can’t remember. Was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and then I heard Truly, Deeply, Madly on the TV, downloaded it later on and then proceeded to downloading their three albums.
Cheerup Songs:
Affirmation – Savage Garden
Jiu Shi Wo – JJ Lin (despite the fact that I hardly ever listen to that song these days)
Psyching Up Songs:
Till I Collapse – Eminem
Soldier – Eminem
Lose Yourself – Eminem
Feeling like shit music:
In the End – Linkin Park
Breaking the Habit – Linkin Park
Feeling sad music:
Love you more – Eminem
Reminiscing Music:
Jiang Nan – JJ Lin
I’m gonna put up Affirmation up on my blog replacing Truly Deeply Madly so next time you feel like crap you can have a read and listen to some happy music on my blog
Four
May 2nd
It’s been four weeks. It’s been four days. I’ve had four exams. I have four more exams.
You know what I find sad? You have like 6 year olds blogging. Not that I read 6 year old’s blogs (or any random person’s blog for that matter apart from Az) but you actually have 6 year old’s blogging. I can just imagine parents in the future:
Dad1: My son learnt to tie his shoelace today.
Dad2: Well my son made his first blog today.
The idea of blogging is pretty stupid if you think about it. It allows people with no web-coding knowledge at all to start a site to write about their pathetic little lives so their friends can read about it or at least hope their friends read about it. Then they check their blogs every 30 seconds to see if someone has commented and gets all excited when somebody makes a comment.
*shivers*
I can only think of two people that actually type like I do on MSN. I don’t use any acronyms apart from "wtf", "omg" and I rarely use "brb". Those are probably the only two online acronyms I ever use. I don’t type "wat" or use numbers to replace words like "2" or "4". You know when people tell you that your getting dumber for every second you spent using Instant Messaging, it’s probably true.
I reckon if it wasn’t for the assessments my chatlog folder for April would be an all time record. It currently sits at 2.6 megs. Which is tied first. The other one is actually like 2.5 megs and was from December last year.
I also decided to checkout who I’ve been talking to most and the results have been pretty surprising. I did a search through my chatlogs for files bigger than 200kb. 32 files popped up. In my top 10 most talked to people ever, the top two are held by two girls (surprise surprise). Though its probably cause of all the damn group convos. One person appears 5 times and another appears twice. So in the end there are only 5 people in my top 10 list. Pretty damn scary. Oh for those unaware the chatlogs are recorded monthly.
I was reading through my 2 essays, Feature Article and Radio interview on Hamlet plus R&G today and I was thinking "How on Earth did I produce this?!" I’m sure it’s not the greatest piece of work on Earth or in our grade but I sure was amazed at myself. Okay fine, you might think it’s shit but I thought it was pretty decent.
My introduction on my first essay:
"Values and attitudes of Elizabethan England has been thoroughly expressed through Shakespeare’s’ plays, through its thematic concerns, characterisations and performance styles. The ideas explored were vastly showing the dominance of religion in their everyday lives and the position women have in society. The play Hamlet, successfully deals with these issues and ideas."
and second:
"‘Hamlet’ is a text by Shakespeare illustrating the values and attitudes of Elizabethan England. However in “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern” by Tom Stoppard, the ideals and values are inverted. Such ideas such as death, prevalent in ‘Hamlet’, are ultimately diminished in importance to outline the values and attitudes during the post World War II context. By centralising the play around two insignificant characters, the hierarchal system is stripped of any importance allowing the audience to relate to R&G."
The funny thing is that I wrote those in class! They weren’t 30 minute well thought of introductions. I was an in class essay which I just wrote out, out of the top of my head. If you think it’s shit or you can do better then suck a duck, I don’t care.
*checks back every 30 seconds to see if somebody has made a comment*
Edit: Plus! for the win!
