Last thing you'll ever read…again
Archive for June, 2005
I am whatever you say I am if I wasn’t, then why would I say I am?…
Jun 29th
I feel like blogging, but I don’t know what to say or how to say it. The irony is I’m not actually saying it, I’m writing it down. Do you ever feel like not caring for something but however, you will always tend to care? Yeah, that’s what I’m feeling right now.
I like to not give a shit what people think of me and just hang around people who finds it cool to hang with me and not the other way round. I guess I was being too complimental when I talked about my little basketball session. I find it ironic where two people who hate each other pretend that they get along fine in a group. I see it pretty much everyday and sometimes it just sickens me. In a way, its happening to me.
Anyways, I love quoting people and lets quote someone.
"everyone thought you were bored with us or hated us or was too ‘hardcore’ to hang with us"
"you? that was ‘quiet’ and ‘seems like an asshole’"
AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!
Fuck, I don’t even want to get into that shit. Let’s just say, I find it hard to play with people that are not on the same level as me. Now I’m not saying I’m any good but the fact is, I don’t like people who don’t know what they’re doing. I tend to get carried away when I play sports and either yell alot or not at all. Fuck, you should know how it is. When I’m hypo, I’m extremely hypo and when I get pissed, I’m shit quiet. I hate it when people ask me indirect questions especially when its an invitation. Some people say it as if I’m expected to know or expected to be invited already. E.g. "So are you coming to…" or "You’re coming to….right?" I get the feeling that the person is like "I don’t really want you there, but it wouldn’t be right not inviting you." Guess what? Asking an indirect question isn’t an invitation! It’s more of a statement.
I got Kelvin to come to the next basketball session and I’m going to try and be more interested. Looks like I was the black sheep…again. I hate it when I’m the odd one out.
I guess if I stop expecting, I won’t be disappointed.
"I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it." ~ Voltaire
I love that quote. So there you have it, for those out there.
Just cynical…
Laterz’
*Robert Miles – Children*
Jun 29th
Hey lookie! They just updated MSN spaces, now there are more options for writing a blog! It now also has html! How awesome! But anywho, I’m going to write a blog before I take a nap. Haha, yeah I deserve a nap. I’m still going to use Tahoma size 9 to keep it consistant with the rest of my blog. Haha, I know its a bit hard to read especially those who are short sighted but I guess you shouldn’t really be reading this if you don’t try huh?
So anyways, I hate smokers. I hate their very existance. I hope they should all fall dead to end their misery. I know it’s never going to happen and there might be some extremely nice smokers but heck, they shouldn’t be smoking in the first place. My dad used to smoke but somehow back in year 2 I made him quit. Think I might tell you a little bit of my history. I was nearly blind, well one of my eyes anyway, I can’t remember which one. It was like on a Chinese Holiday and everybody was outside watching the fireworks. I wanted to see a firecracker being set alight so I ran closer into a guy holding a cigarette behind his back near the waist. Being like 3-4 at the time I ran straight into the cigarrette with it going into my eye. I actually thought it was a firecracker that blew up but my mum told me sometime this year that it was a cigarette. So inevitable it had a effect on my which I never realised. No wonder I hate smokers so much, they nearly made me blind! Luckily the cigarette hit the white bit of the eye missing the cornea or else I’ll have one all seeing eye. You can argue that I shouldn’t be running…fuck you. That guy shouldn’t be smoking. So yeah, I made my dad quit smoking so I just saved him couple years.
Some people are under the impression that I hate people with dyed hair. Wrong. I don’t hate them, I just think they should make up their own goddamn minds instead of being a conformist. I’m so sick of seeing Asians walking around with dyed hair, one would think that the natural hair colour of Asian ethnicity is reddish. It’s just annoying to see another Asian dying their hair. If I were to dye my hair I would have silver streaks running down the back of my hair. I’ve got silver hair already, it’s hereditary. So if I were to have silver streaks for once in my life people can stop going "Hey man, you got white Hair!" I hate it when people tell me. Firstly, they say it as if I don’t know. Secondly they say it if the have just discovered something new to them. Lastly, the always would want to pull it out as if it’s a game. I’m a hippocrite, cause I just did the same thing to Kevin Ho this morning. I don’t think he’s hair is hereditary so I did it for the sake of doing it to someone else rather than always being the victim.
Personality tests, always bites me in the ass. I dislike them but I always tend to do them and post the results upon stumbling onto one. Well here’s another one of those tests for y’all. I think it’s a load of bullshit.
I am 48% Asshole/Bitch.
I may think I am an asshole or a bitch, but the truth is I am a good person at heart. Yeah sure, I can have a mean streak in me, but most of the people I meet like me.
Well I know when I behave like a dickhead so generally I know when or when not I’m a dickhead. I’ll let the rest of y’all consider the rest. I can just imagine some people going "pfftt…yeah right!" after reading the thing.
Laterz’
You just turn around and start asking me about things you want back from me…
Jun 26th
Look I’m going to be as truthful and quick as possible.
Yesterday I went to play basketball with 10 people. Henry, Quiton and I went along with 4 St George Girls people and 3 NSBHS people. One of the NSBHS person was a cousin with a St George Girl person. The person who invited us was Ja Ja and thus the world revolves around her since she is the only person who knew everybody who went there.
Ja Ja’s cousins Hayley (NSBHS) had two friends with him and they smoked. I hate smokers. I wish they would all just die and leave people like me alone with passive smoking. I will die from passive smoking one day. Quinton stated that smoking is only for rich people. What a load of bullshit. Just because someone is rich doesn’t give them the right to smoke and endanger the health of other people. Yes, yes I’m generalising a specific group of people but seriously at least people in our generation should know better and not smoke. I believe smoking is even worse than doing drugs. I have my reasons and you have yours so please have a glass of STFU. I can’t be bothered explaining so just assume my reasons (whatever they might be) is enough.
Okay, there were 4 St George girls and I’ll try and not be too shallow so, no comment. Haha, surprisingly they weren’t girly girls and had the ability to catch and throw. Despite the fact they weren’t able to catch as well or throw as far, it was far more better than I had first expected.
Now the NSBHS people. Lets just say two people are enough to take on 5 of their players, one for defence and one for offence. Mabye I’m being abit cyncical but it wasn’t what I expected. I was expecting to get owned.
One last thing, Ja Ja was like "We don’t play with rules, we play street." Now the first impression I get out of that is heaps of pushing and shoving, slapping around and tripping going on. Were they playing no rules in order to sound rough or were they playing no rules simply because they didn’t understand the rules? That mystery I will never find out. I’m not a big basketball fan but I’m aware of the basic rules of basketball. When I hear "street" I generally assume that the general rules of travel or double dribble still applies, not in our context. All hell broke loose, I got slapped twice during one drive. I got slapped on the face during another and Henry gave me one BIG hug in attempting to grab the ball off me. Fair enough. The mere fact that anyone can double dribble and travel at the same time is astounding and cross courting in more than one succession in one play astounds me more. But who am I to judge? I’m in 6th Grade!
So yeah that was my day yesterday, I expected it to be better but it turned out little over average.
Fuck it, I can’t be fucked blogging. I’m going to finish watching Coach Carter and then focus on my English Essay for tomorrow.
Siobhan decided to quit blogging…again and Sally has limited to access to the net. *Big Sigh*
Laterz’
I’m not what your friends think I’m not Mr. Friendly, I can be a prick…
Jun 24th
Yes, yes, I know. I’m sorry.
I’m just writing this blog to prevent an expected longer blog tomorrow. Hopefully, something "fabulous" happens. For those of you’s who haven’t figured out yet. My title for my blogs from now on will be Song lyrics. So please, do not take them seriously! I urge you! Some people take me too seriously whilst others don’t take me seriously enough. Make up your own goddamn mind.
Anyways, my social status has been questioned and I would like to address that right here right now. Would I be considered anti-social? I mean, I’ve got like 63 people on my contact list. You’re probably going "whoa! That’s pathetic, go make some friends!" Yeah, past years I thought that I should have as many people on my contact list as possible reaching around 150 people. But since last year I have adopted another concept. Only add people who I want to talk to and vice versa. I’ve since deleted anybody who hasn’t talked to me for over 100 days with few exceptions. I just see no point in having people on my list whom I rarely, if not never, talk to. They’re just there fo’ show.
Most people on my contact list are usually away or doing something more important and simply cannot reply within a talkable timeframe. Anything out of 2 minutes for a reply is seriously way too long. So anyways, I probably only talk to five people on my contact list periodically. The others I generally have a conversation at school or merely for brief chats or for assistance in whatever needs.
Then again, I’m just making up excuses aren’t I? I mean, I tend to talk to new people endlessly the first time and then it seems to decrease exponetially as I/we run out of topics and then the conversation just dies. I would like to insert a quote now "you just didn’t make an effort with those who didn’t talk to you first." True dat, true dat. But the person who said it, was referring to what sort of person I was 7 years ago. Yes, yes for those mathematically challenged it occured in Year 4. You know what, I haven’t changed a bit. If you don’t talk to me, chances are I’ll probably take a long time or never talk to you. It’s just me, I just feel it’s not necessary to talk to someone who doesn’t want to talk back. That is probably the reason I dislike adding people on MSN.
You’re probably getting a really, really bad impression of me. What can I say? Nothing I suppose. I actually quiet enjoy talking. You’re not surrounded by boundaries and the topics are endless. Then again, I think I often socialise better when there’s a third person, four people convo isn’t that bad but when it reaches past four in a convo, I tend to just phase out. Anyways, I find that there is always the "party" personality in a conversation. That is something I just made up. Ever have a situation where the conversation just dies when a specific person leaves? Yeah, that person has what I call as the "party" trait. It’s lame, I know.
Those who actually think I’m boring to talk to please I urge you, stop using "LOL" after a slightly humorous comment and please THINK of a topic to talk about instead of just making one line statements that doesn’t result in a constructive reply. E.g. "What are you doing?" "Nothing"
If you ever see me use "What chu doing?" it means, I have nothing to say and just using it as something to take up time. The worst thing is have someone go "Nothing", throwing it in your face.
Fuck, I think I just owned myself.
Your forever untruthful, montonous, insipid, alienated foe.
Laterz’
You find me offensive, I find you offensive for finding me offensive…
Jun 22nd
I just find that I have the need to blog. I’ll swear something interesting is bound to happen anytime soon. But considering I’ve just thought about it the chances are its never going to happen. I hate it when it happens. I think of something pleasant and at that exact moment I come to the realisation that chances are its NEVER going to happen.
Today, is a Wednesday. We had sport as usual and as usual for the past couple of weeks, I’ve never been exactly enthusiatic or keen to play soccer. I’ll just lay it down here. It’s bloody boring.
14D’s – Good Coach = Fun (centre mid)
15C’s – Good Captain = Fun (random mid)
16D’s – Good Team = Fun (Striker)
7th Grade – null (mid/defender WTF!?!)
I know, I know, I suck at soccer. There’s always somebody that sucks at something and I guess that would be me. If it wasn’t me somebody else would take the spot and that wouldn’t be fair now would it? I’m just sick of our coach playing in our games and his imperative tone he constantly uses. We are in 7th Grade, there is a reason for our existance do not put too much expectations on us. Simple as that.
What’s ridiculous is that I was put on as defender and getting blamed upon for not marking my man. Hello? I haven’t played defender since Year 6! You can’t expect me to make a transition with 30 seconds notice. Who should feel more frustrated the coach or I or perhaps the Captain?
Last Saturday has to be by far the worst game of soccer I’ve ever played. I don’t really care if we lost usually as generally we had fun in the process. However, last Saturday was a shitfuck. Let’s see, we had another "miss communication" as Kenny puts it, although I’m not sure whether it was I or him who had this "miss communication". I believe the latter. Also the fact that I touched the ball approximately five times during the whole game. Hmmm…considering since nobody bothered to pass the ball to the right I simply stood around the right mid position hoping. What do people do when they haven’t touched the ball? They take the initiative and chase. That’s what I did and guess what? The ball for the first time got kicked to the right side whilst I was in the centre. Next thing I heard was Kenny complaining about staying in position. *sigh* Life wasn’t meant to be fair. People weren’t meant to be fair.
Today has been the best soccer "training" session this season. We actually did something worth doing and it was fun. To put it simply, we played a game. Haha. Generally we never had a proper game between teams but today somehow Watson felt like doing something different.
Anyways, I was lying on the grass unchanged and nobody bothered to tell me that Watson has arrived. I was listening to my MD (can you guess what?) so I didn’t know what was going on. Anyways I had to play with a team whom I normally do not play with. No matter, I had fun. Long story short, Watson put me in a team of 6th Grade and 5th Grade people competing against each other. Whilst 7th Grade competed against each other. It’s all Nikitas fault! Shane was prepared to be a Striker and Watson comes along and goes "Shane plays right back and always have played right back", thus he was forced to play right back. Watson then goes on saying "We need another centre forward" with Nikita going "John". At first I felt honoured and glad that somebody actually recognised me instead of casting me away as leftovers. So yeah I was pretty happy with myself. Then Watson pulls me out for a chat five minutes into the game. At first I was thinking "Hmmm…he might want me to play another position or change teams" but then he was like "You’re being promoted to 6th Grade." I was thinking "WTF!"
I don’t know how to describe it so I’m just going to list the positive and negative attributes to this change.
Postive:
- More house points
- A team that may not complain as bad
- A team that actually have a coach that doesn’t play in the games and a coach who doesn’t bring in Old Boys to "help" the team
- I get to play striker
Negative:
- Later game times
- Less people that I know
So I guess it’s a pretty good deal. Yeah, Watson also suggested that I was to play Centre Forward. I feel like there’s so much expected of me now. They probably overrated me. I tend to play better when I’m having fun and today I was having great fun. I sort of miss playing striker, it was the only position people value and hate. I prefer to be valued rather than hated and I wasn’t getting much recognition. It didn’t really matter if I played or not on Saturdays, I was the bench-warmer that no one asked for or needed.
Oh, thanks Tony for blurting out that I got promoted to 6th Grade to the whole of 7th Grade team, much appreciated. Here are some of the things that people may have thought "WTF!", "John is shit, how the hell did he get promoted", "Thank God, one less loser gone", "I should be promoted". I can be sure that none of them were thining "Good for him".
So best of luck John, hope you score some goals and not let the team down.
Laterz’
Hush, hush, Don’t say a word…
Jun 21st
To tell you the truth, I don’t feel like writing a blog right now. I’ve done around 4 hours of homework today ranging from Maths to Physics to Economics. I’ve got a mental block again. Have absolutely no idea what to talk about, all I have in my head is the events that have occurred today before/during/after school.
Well Kelvin said that he read my blog, how he got my blog address I have no idea but nevertheless its an achievement. Kevin has planned a sleepover and what originally was around 6 people turned into 10. I guess that’s what happens, people want to come and he’s too nice to reject them. I hate rejecting people because I don’t personally like being rejected myself, I mean who does? If we all act less selfishly people wouldn’t have this hate for others.
Hmmm…recess and lunch have become more interesting lately. Instead of gossiping about work, games and the rest of that crap, the more "active" group finally was able to discuss something more fascinating which is rather rare. Considering the less "active" group dominate the benches. It’s true, there’s no need denying it. I’m trying to be as fair as possible so give me some slack. Well guess what we’ve been talking about?! Hmmm…what do a group of guys who haven’t been laid yet talk about? I know sex, porn, bukkake and the rest of that crap. Jason actually thought that we were planning to watch porn together at Kevin’s sleepover. Jesus Dude, stop taking things so seriously, and this guy claims that I am negative towards people. Wake Up and smell the daisies.
Anyways, Kev’s sleepover. I find nothing wrong with it. It’s far more interesting than going to the city and watching a movie. Yet there’s something wrong with this picture. 10 guys…in 1 room…with only 1 person who claims that he does not wank (no not me). Haha, I’m being so open with this blog. Anyways, we should get some girls to come. That will be a extremely hard task considering the majority of us do not have female friends in double digits in addition to the fact that Kev lives in Wollongong. I actually don’t mind the train trip, it’s relaxing and we get to have a chat. Hmmm…I wonder who can’t hold it off for one day. I mean I held it off for 2 whole weeks.
Guess what? Technically I should be swearing right now, but somehow I’m not that enraged. I only feel angsty when something trully emotional occurs. I got my report back. First off I was going to write out every comment and comment on the comments. Then I was thinking about photocopying the report and uploading it onto ths entry but now I just can’t be bothered. Incase your wondering, yeah this blog is 3 days early but I’m planning to write a blog that may be interesting on Sunday incase something does happen on Saturday.
You know what I’ve found? I have trouble remaining eye contact when talking to girls. I don’t know why. I tend to stare away or look at someone else whilst addressing them. It’s really frustrating. Speaking of which, Diana caught my bus this morning again but I was sitting at the back so she didn’t see me. Coincidentally I saw her again whilst going down the escalators to my platform and she was so hyperactive. I told her that I saw her on the bus and then she was like "I think I saw you crossing the road at the lights". Haha, I guess that could be translated as "I did see you at the lights but I didn’t say anything". Well I saw her too and I didn’t say anything, its cause she was with her friends and I was with Chung. Now you understand why. Thank lord. For those people like Kelvin, the answer is No.
You know what I want to happen? The house all by myself for three days in the holidays. All my friends under the one roof. Then I can finally exploit my surround sound system to its full potential. Anyways, my mum proposed me an offer yesterday. Would you rather go back to China with us next holidays or go back by yourself on business class next year? Without a doubt, of course I would rather go back by myself flying on business class! I flew back to China by myself in year 6 in economy and I played pokemon until the batteries ran out. But this time its going to be the bomb! Hmmm…might be even better if one of myfriends went back together with me. Man I’ve only been on business class once in my life and the trip was only around 2 hours. It was the trip to the Gold Coast.
I feel like deleting everything I’ve written. That’s what I feel after I’ve written something when I’m not in the mood. It’s all your fault.
Laterz’
Take everything from the inside and throw it all away
Jun 17th
Sup’
Hmmm…where to begin this amazing epic I have endured. Let’s see…the usual criticism from Alan, Steven, Tony, Kenny, oh did I mention Alan? It’s okay ladies, no harm done, if not beneficial.
What an awesome week! Relax, I’m refraining from swearing and will not talk about the realities of life. So where shall we being. I know let’s address my appearance. Those who have known me for a long time obviously see me as Chinese, no matter what. However, Sally thought I was Canto (though Cantonese is part of China I see it as a large enough group to be distinguishable from the Mandos), Kelvin recently said I looked Thai, and even more bizarre some random girl thought I looked Korean. I mean seriously, I know I don’t look the best these days (did i ever? once…that was a lifetime ago) but come on… I got a huge laugh out of all three but me looking Canto happened like less than a year ago and I beg to differ. Did I use it in the right context? Any who, Kelvin said I looked Thai after I gelled my hair one morning. Hmmm…Interesting I don’t really know what a Thai look like but I’m pretty sure I don’t look like one. Anyways, onto the good stuff. Here comes the bombshell. I was in the City, right? and I was exiting galaxy world with Alan (this was on Queen’s Birthday), though I didn’t play any games, suddenly this random girl just screams out "Hi Korean!". I simply ignored her without even looking back thinking it was another one of those psychotic Asians desperate for attention. Guess what? I was right!
Me: (to Alan) Was she talking to us?
Alan: Think so
Psychotic girl: Hi Koreans!!!
We turn around just to see this Asian chick (with blonde hair) and her friend waving at us.
Me: (turning to Alan) are they waving at us?
Alan: Think so
Suddenly they just appeared next to me and went…
Blonde Psychotic girl: Hi!!! Are you Korean??
Her friend suddenly attempts to speak in Koran to me.
Me: (with a dull voice and lost look) No, I am not Korean.
Blonde Psychotic girl: (laughs hysterically, reminded me of Nancy) Well do you remember us?
Me: Urghh…no
Blonde Psychotic girl: Good, cause we don’t remember you
*They both start to giggle hysterically before running off to the entrance of galaxy world*
The lights turned green to we began crossing the road not before I gave them the finger behind their backs.
I don’t know why I did it, maybe I thought it was cool, maybe I had to do something to compensate for my lack of words. It ALWAYS happens to me I never find the right words to say to people incase something disastrous happens. It was so funny though. Alan was probably as lost as I was but nevertheless I was lucky nobody saw what Alan saw, or else I would be coping more insults. Hahaha, Jesse suggested that I should of replied and I quote "you’re that crazy chick I saw down in kings cross outside that brothel!!!" Nice one man. Yes, Jesse is a guy for those getting excited.
There you have it ladies and gentleman. What else now? I’m sure there’s heaps more. I always type what I want to say in my head at random times but somehow I never remember them. Any who, I’m just going to cut to the chase. Guess what? I caught up with Diana. I feel so much better now, it’s like getting something off my chest. It’s weird cause I was always meaning to talk to her but never got the chance or opportunity. Yesterday I saw her on the bus and I’m pretty sure she saw me cause we exchanged eye contact for like a fraction of a second. Anyways, I’ve only talked to her once, but it was a extremely long chat, around couple of hours, it was pretty interesting. Anyways, I’m just going to outline something really confusing for yous. I met her at a barbeque and her parents are friends with my parent’s friend but I don’t think our parents really know her parents. So yeah friends of a friend. Now another family friend of a friend’s daughter happens to be Diana’s good friend and I also met her at a Barbeque. Now I know I mentioned this before but hey, I like repeating myself. So yeah, I felt so bad yesterday since I didn’t say anything on the bus. So today, I missed the train and caught the later train all by myself. I got on the bus and sat behind the four seater by myself and guess who got on?! I was thinking if I don’t say anthing now, I will definitely kill myself over this for the rest of the week.
Me: Diana!
Dee (think I’ll call her Dee for typing ease): Oh! Hiiii!!!
*sits down next to me whilst her friends move on*
Dee: Johnny! Did you get more pimply?!
Me: Ha! Thanks for that! Really appreciate it! Anyways, hows things?
She then collapses back onto seat and then begins to chat.
Hmmm…but seriously, who says something like that? Anyways, she was really cute. I swear to god she hasn’t gone through puberty, her voice is still shrill but she seems more mature than some people I’ve met. Anyways, that made my day. It’s all good.
Ohohoh, another positive thing. David Lin and Vinayak have both read my blog and they both said it was cool, hmmm David might be being sarcastic but Vinayak sure isn’t. Haha. That made me feel pretty good especially since after the group convo I had yesterday. It’s funny how something so small can make you feel as right as rain whilst something else can make you feel so degrading and insignificant. Nevertheless, I will stand tall, even if my collarbones crush or crumble, I will not slip or stumble. Should I respond to some of the comments in the last blog? Should you have the privilege of receiving such honour? I guess so, for now.
The first two comments by Francis and Tony, sometimes it’s the short ones that provide the most thought. It was nice to read something that contradicts what Angelo and Kenny have said. Though they may not remember and I don’t expect them to, the truth is always out there. Did that make sense? Cause I have no idea what that meant, I just needed something to finish the sentence.
Third comment - "Diz". This further proves my theory. My theory is this, those people who start to think I’m cool will begin to find my more negative attributes and the relationship deteriorates whilst those who begin to hate me and then like me, that relationship will tighten. One example will be Kelvin, I have no idea why but in Year 7 he called me "monkey man". Hahaha. So anyways, I sent her an email and she replied, I added her on msn and attempted to start a convo just to be staring into a blank screen. I tried three times and on my last attempt I gave up after I wrote "Wassup" just to see her going offline. Hmmm…coincidence? I then deleted her and decided to leave a message on her blog just to see that the page cannot be displayed…again! Hahaha, that actually gave me relief in a way I can’t imagine. Haha, I actually was quit surprised when I saw the comment and even more surprised when I read it.
Fourth comment – random person whom thought i read her blog where in fact i just glanced at it for 0.001 second before alt-f4. The other thing is, she was probably another bandwagon Eminem fan so her comment was redundant in every way and form.
Fifth comment – It’s okay Siobhan, no need to be jealous. There’s always room for you, if you know what I mean. Anyways, you were the first to properly comment ever on my blog so lets all give a round of applause to you. The scary thing is, every time you comment I always seem to have more comments than previous despite the fact that you commented after several people. Anyways, in response to your last line, YOU WISH!
Sixth comment – Henry man, I didn’t mean write an essay. Take it easy. I can’t even remember what you said and cannot be bothered to read it again. The girl mind map was made by Richard which I thought was hilarious and true. Yes, it was a coincidence and yes I will take care.
Sev
enth and eighth comment – umm…yeah…
Ninth comment – I already wrote a reply on Rish’s blog.
During writing those, I remember what I wanted to say, but before I go on to a different topic I need to ask you a favour. Please DO NOT reply about the replies I made on the comments on my previous entry. That is all. I thank thee.
Okay peeps, on to something far more exciting…Matrix. Hahaha, if Alan, Kenny, Angelo, Steven or Tony (assuming that they bothered to read this far or open my blog at all for that matter) will probably have taken a big breath and simply hit alt-f4. It’s okay, nothing special. I just used a program called Icon Packager to change the Control Panel, Run, Help and Support, Find and various other icons into the Matrix theme. I also edited four cursors to match the Matrix theme. I’m such a legend.
Hmmm…I’m bored right now. What else is there? Oh yeah…I think I might use song lyrics as the title for my blogs. I’m sorta throwing a Siobhan but not being nearly as random. Oh yeah I remember now! How can I possibly forget! I was planning to upload some hilarious photos.
Edit: How can I possibly forget this?! It’s my Dad’s birthday this Sunday and for the first time ever I bought him something. According to Tony what I bought my Dad was a Primary School present. I bought him the M3 Power Razor. I couldn’t think of anything else, maybe next time I might buy him a parker pen, he might appreciate that. Well I can’t buy him a belt cause he has a Versace belt and I can’t possibly beat that. Fashion isn’t my thing so I guess a tie is out of the question. So anyways, I need to think of a way to surprise him without causing a stir. My relationship with my father has gotten stronger lately. *sigh*
Anyways, I wish him a Happy Birthday. Btw – since he’s working on Saturday and Sunday we decided to Celebrate his birthday today but I’m still planning to give him the present on Sunday.
Anyways, enjoy the show chiggas. *Does chigga hug*
Laterz’
When you feel it in your body…
Jun 10th
Wassup Chiggars and y’all
Guess the fuck what? I haven’t swore in my blogs for quiet some time and I’ve decided to let out some anger. Firstly, I lost 6 paragraphs of near decent writing for circumstances unknown. Bloody shitfuck. First time i did it and it made me majorly pissed. Anywho, hows its going? *does a "niggar" hug* LOOK! I’m not trying to be fucking rascist okay? Fuck you. I use the term "niggar" as a symbol of respect, they have endured so much yet they demand so little. You can call me a wannabe but whoever said that an Asian can’t have a sense of brotherhood huh?
Shit, I’m scaring myself, that’s what I get for trying to write this shit after everything that has happened this week. Jesus Christ man, wake up and smell the daisies. The term, Asian Pride, is as real as my ability to fly. You hear all these people going around screaming Asian Pride thinking that just by looking Asian they can take pride in it. RETARDS. I’m not going to go into this Asian thing and I’m seriously controlling myself not to. If y’all haven’t realised yet, I’m a pretty critical person, maybe its a good thing maybe its not. If you don’t like it, tough, live with it.
So anyways, I’m going to walk away from the negativity. I have music playing in the background and damn it feels good. Why wouldn’t it feel good? Long weekend, exams all finished, results all back and damn it just feels so good. I dunno, I’ve felt really energetic all day. Today was mufti and again I wore my dull clothing, too bad huh? It just feels good today for some reason. Everything seems to be going smoothly and hopefully it stays this way for at least until Christmas 2006.
Anyways, my reputation for liking Marshal Mathers and Linkin Park has finally enveloped the group. Most of my friends know it either directly (sorry Alan, Tony and Steven, though none of you are ever going to read this I feel…fuck it. Thanks for putting up with me during Maths and Economics) or indirectly (the rest of the group). Hahaha, at lunch today they were getting Mak to name some Linkin Park songs (have no idea why, i wasn’t paying attention) and then almost everybody was like "Shut Up, John". Hahaha it was hilarious I didn’t even say anything. I just listened to Mak attempting to remember some songs. I was like "How about 30?". Steven was like "what?" and then I replied "How about naming 30 songs". Hahaha how about naming 50 Eminem Songs!!! I think I can do it. Don’t worry, I’m not going to do it here so calm down and just continue to read the rest of this crap.
I’m absolutely immune to insults against Marshal and LP so don’t even bother, I know you suck shit for breakfast, lunch and tea so why don’t you just stop right there. No I’m not talking about you! I’m talking about you! You know who you are. Haha, lost? Don’t worry about thinking just keep on reading. Oh yeah, one more thing, for those that actually CANNOT put up with my rambling about Matrix, Linkin Park and Eminem…chances are I can’t put up with your shit so please, lets just pretend we enjoy each other.
Haha! Why do I always write as if the people who I’m critical about is reading this! Ha, as if!
Want me to name all the people who hate me? Okay…maybe I will. *Names people in head* Did you get all that? Guess not, that’s too bad.
Man, I’ve got way too much shit to say. Damn, not enough time or energy to express everything.
Okay I’ll devote one paragraph to Shangs. Shangs, a collective group of people whom originated from ShangHai in China. They like to have 3 hour long dinners and the number one most talked about topic whilst having dinner is food. They are loud, annoying, superficial, bitchy and unfriendly. Also, I’m a Shang so that explains alot don’t it? Wrong! It doesn’t explain anything, farout dude, think for yourself for once in your life instead of just accepting things just because other people say so. Haha speaking of Shangs, a Shang friend just signed in. Kelvin, what a legend, though may have a dirty mind (that’s right, Shangs are also dirty minded, that’s a good thing right?) have many ethics and morals. He holds alot of intelligence though it may not be school related, he holds a great deal about just general stuff. For that, I tip my hat off to him. Ironically, the "majority" of my good friends do not read or comment for that matter on my blog. Argh well, who cares? Not I. No. Not I. For those who actually visit, for fun, to kill boredom, whatever, I thank thee.
That’s my one paragraph. What else are there in this pathetic world worth mentioning? Argh yes, truth and trust. Sally, one of the few people who actually post a thought provoking, interesting and a comment worth reading. Good work on the last comment, I thought it was extremely true. I trust people too easily, most of the time to my own demise on multiple occassions. I realise that people are idiotic, selfish and just plain fucked up. However, I like to have a clean sheet for everybody I meet and therefore there is a degree of trust I lay upon people whom I really shouldn’t. Nevertheless, I tend to say things to people which I shouldn’t, maybe due to the fact that they may use it against me. That’s probably why, I don’t like getting too close to somebody. They will know too much and incase if anything happens they may use the information to their own advantage.
John! Whatever dude! Take your own advice for once and stop rambling on about bullshit!
Haha, there goes my inner-John.
So yeah, Robert, our soccer coach, decided not to show up again for reasons unknown. Hmmm…I haven’t had a proper soccer training session for like 3 weeks now and I haven’t played a game for 3 weeks too! Tomorrow there won’t be a game either. I want to kick some ass. Seriously our team has no leadership, no coach and too many hogs, glory hunters and people who just won’t turn up to a game. I didn’t turn up to last weeks game due to the fact that:
- my dad had work 4 am
- the game was at 8 am
- i had to get there at 7:30 am
- the venue was 1 hour 30 minutes away
That’s about it but I’m sure theres more! Fuck it, I can’t be bothered writing anymore. There is plenty left in my mind but I just can’t think right now. I feel so hypo right now.
Anyways, hope you enjoyed this blog as much as I enjoyed writing it! There’s probably heaps of grammatical and spelling mistakes in this as I haven’t read over it once. Feel free to criticise. Send me some hate mail if you want.
Remember, shit happens.
Arghh… U got it bad – Usher… love this song…playing right now…
I’m a walking dictionary of quotes
Jun 4th
First off, I’m going to be blog one entry each week. I’m just going to add little bits and pieces each day to a draft and then publish it on Saturday. I tend to make way too much mistakes and by doing this my writing will improve whether I realise or not.
I’ve think I’ve finally discovered a skill. You keep on hearing people say "Everybody is good at doing one thing better than any other person" or somewhere along the lines of that but most of the time, I ask myself, what is my skill? I’m good with computers. I’m good at anything that involves problem solving. You have a problem? Come to me and I’ll try and solve it (depending if I like you or not and whether if I’m up or down). As a kid, I loved puzzles, I was able to sit there hours on end attempting to solve a jigsaw puzzle. I’ve got this 1000 piece puzzle somewhere in the house which I’ve yet to complete. I did half of it all by myself but due to ill misfortunes I was forced to pack it up, that was couple of years ago, I’ve haven’t attempted again. It was a 101 Dalmatians puzzle, so much white pieces!
I’ve discovered that, I tend to remember the most insignificant events that occur in my life where most people will forget in a matter of days, hours or minutes. I tend to remember faces too and names. That is why most of the time I hate approaching people fearing of the fact that they will forget and have no clue who I am. I also dislike referring to past insignificant events, which I lock up in my brain, also due to the fact that they will not remember. Why you may ask, simple, what are the chances that you will believe somebody when they mention something that you cannot remember. Exactly. Remembering stuff maybe both good and bad. Good in a way that I’m able to remember past joys in my life that have caused me laughter and happiness, it is bad that it creates the totally opposite of those of good. If you did something bad, depressing, anguishing, hurtful thing to me, I will REMEMBER. Trust me my friend I will not forget. If I say "I forgot" to you or those around me, guess what, there’s a high chance that I’m lying and doing so in order to not "hurt" your feelings.
So here’s a small and insignificant event that was brought up by one of my friends. I’ve already mentioned this on the forum, in my personal message and on another blog entry. Don’t remember? Don’t worry, I don’t expect you to. If you do, I thank thee.
"Have you realised that everything John says is a cliché?"
I’m not mad, it’s pretty true to some extent. When somebody speak the truth about me whether good or bad, I don’t get mad, I respect it for telling the truth and not making things up like most people would. Which brings me back here. I not only remember events, I tend to remember what people say too. When I’m watching a movie, reading a book, listing to a song, talking to someone, I tend to pick up lines which have meaning. I’m not a creative person, so I’m not able to come up with the best comebacks or the smartest thing to say, but I know I’m able to quote something better than most. When I say that I’m able to pick up lines which have meaning I don’t mean quotes that will be forever remembered, I mean the quotes that have meaning in itself to me.
I’ll talk about some quotes which I’ve been thinking about recently.
"What’s in a name? That we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet?" ~ Juliet – Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare
I like this quote. It questions people whether they determine the meaning of something said by their literal meaning or the way it was said. I tend to understand people by how they say things. Don’t try and lie to me, I can see it in your eyes.
"Beware the fury of the patient man" ~ John Dryden
Why keep things locked in there *points at your heart*? Let it all out. You may think that keeping your cool may be a good quality to have but then again we’re all monsters and there’s no escaping reality. Lets some of that angst and repression out and suck in the fresh air. Feel better?
The economic problem – unlimited wants, limited resources
Here’s what I want:
1. An mp3 player (wouldn’t mind the Sony NWHD5) – my MD is getting a bit too old, had it for 3 years now, I will never forget the memories
2. An external hard drive to keep my goods
3. My own computer
Yes, I realise that they’re all technologically related. I probably need some new clothes, might buy some in the holidays. I will get an external hard drive pretty soon, I only got four gigabytes left and I simply cannot be bothered to constantly buying DVD+ disks to back things up. The mp3 player can wait, I’ll live with listening to the songs I already have on minidisks. I probably get my Dad to buy me one in China this year or something. The computer definitely will have to wait, but I can wait, just like how I can wait for lots of things these days.
I like to relate to the music I listen to and on Thursday, it grasped me like never before. Conincidence? Maybe however, I felt better. I sat down on the lunch benches and put on my MD, a song started to play half way and the lyrics described the situation perfectly. Nobody would have done a better job, not even me. I was in utter surprise.
and i got nothing to say. i cant believe i didnt fall right down on my face
(i was confused)
look at everywhere only to find.
it is not the way i had imagined it all in my mind.
(so what am i)
what do i have but negativity
cuz i cant trust no one by the way everyone is looking at me
(nothing to lose)
nothing to gain im hollow and alone
and the fault is my own
and the fault is my own
I truly did not have anything worth while to say. Whilst I sat there, the rest of them were busily discussing their maths papers either "kissing ass" or bitching about how badly they failed the test or going to fail the test. I have a pretty good impression of what some people may see of me but heck, they should know better that I don’t have a good impression of them either. I’m not going any deeper so read the stanza again to achieve a better image. If you haven’t figured already, the song is "Somewhere I belong" – Linkin Park.
Learn To Hate Me…It Might Come In Handy One Day…
