Archive for May, 2005

I think I missed out on alot of things in my previous blog but who cares, right? So I’ll enlighten you in this blog.

I got a haircut. Yes I did. Yeah, on Friday to be precise. Straight after the Extension 1 English exam I travelled home via the hairdressers. She knows me for quiet some time now, but I still don’t think she knows my name. It’s a customer by face thing, I guess it’s cause she knows my mum but anyways, I feel like as if I’m ripping her off in some sense. I get charged a mere 10 dollars. This isn’t a barber where you go for a shave or a trim, this is a hairdresser which in some way makes it seem more sophisticated. I don’t get bowl cuts with a razer or anything, she mostly uses scissors. Yep, 10 bucks, last time I got a haircut it was probably, lets see, this is Week 5 and I got it 2 weeks before the term ended last term, so 9 weeks ago I asked how much she usually charged her customers and she replied 15. It was weird cause this one time, I only brought 10 dollars with me, so when I asked one of her employees they replied 12 dollars so I sort of jipped them from the beginning. I like her, she doesn’t make getting a haircut a pain.

I’ll stop talking about my experiences getting a haircut for now. Jesus, I feel so empty and bored. Nothing exciting is happening. Everyday seems so routine, man I thought this happens when people grow older not when their sixteen. Maybe it’s just my brain, trying to compensate for something that should be there. Oh yeah, I also went to the library on Friday, I got home, had a shower, had lunch and realised I had absolutely nothing to do. Then it hit me, so obvious, go to the library. That’s exactly what I did, I haven’t been to a library since the Christmas Holidays, I was suppose to continuously borrow books but I just couldn’t find the time or merely I couldn’t be stuffed. So to my utter surprise, I was literally dumbfounded when I saw a copy of "Scarecrow" amongst the shelves. Kogarah library is a pretty bad library in terms of new books. All the new books are either forever on loan or tends to mysteriously "disappear". So yeah, I’ve now finished the book. I can’t believe how a person like Mathew Reily is capable of writing 455 pages of action ontop of action. Man, I will never be able to write a book…ever. I also like Ken Follent’s books the first of his books I’ve read is a 900 page (approx.) book called "Pillars of the Earth". I will never forget this book. This is probably the best book I’ve ever read in my entire life. This is the first book which I’ve ever actually read with a dictionary sitting next to me. It is a hardcover and the words are smaller than the average font. It took me 1 week to read it. The irony is that, when I first say the cover I was thinking "Ha! As if this book is going to be good", when I read the blurb i was even more disgusted thinking "Oh my god, what the fuck, curses? I hate fantasy books". Man was I proved wrong.

Yesterday, was boring but I received quiet a few laughs. My dad was bothering me again asking what i was doing ecetera so yeah stuff happened. The below was the last conversation I had with my dad last night:

Me: Okay…go. *Waves hand at door* Good night, sweet dreams.
Dad: Sweet dreams? I haven’t had a sweet dream in a long time! *chuckles*
Dad: How about you? Have you had any sweet dreams?
Me: *Thinks* Nope
Dad: How about wet dreams? *chuckles*
Me: Not as often as you
Dad: Me? I haven’t had a wet dream in many many years!
*Both chuckle*

Jesus christ. My dad just came back home from and I was reading my bro a book. He got on the comp and he clicked the link to my blog which I’ve just sent to Jason F on MSN! Argh!!! If he startes to read this or there is any signs of him reading my blog I’m going to make it private. Oh my god, oh my god. This is what happened:

Me: *Rushed back into study* What are you doing?! *hits windows key + d*
Me: Your invading my privacy!
Dad: What privacy? I want your homepage.
*I push the swivel chair away*
Dad: That’s assualt
*I stare at him questionably*

So you can guess what happened next. I kept on arguing for him to get off and he kept on stating that it was assualt.

Okay back on topic, that was one event of my insignificant life that occured yesterday that may be half worth mentioning about. Another see that cracked me up like never before is that Siobhan told me that ANOTHER guy likes her. Man, what a player. This is the third time she has told me so who knows how many others there are out there. Those who read this and is wondering "WTF", yes, keep on thinking. So yeah, if my parents weren’t asleep I would be laughing my bloody head off, but since they were I had to hold in the laugh and merely have a extremely large and stupendous grin on my face. It’s the worst thing you’ll ever feel, wanting to laugh but forcing yourself not to. But anyways, keep up the good work Siobhan oh and when would I be expecting my pay?

Think I’ll stop now. I got one more physics test on Tuesday, I better study tomorrow. Don’t wish me luck. I don’t need it.

Morpheus: "Do you believe in fate Neo?"
Neo: "No"
Morpheus: "Why not?"
Neo: "Because I don’t like the idea that I’m not in control of my life"

What’s the point of living if your life is predetermined?

I was suppose to begin my day fresh with a blog a little over an hour ago, that is I was planning to start writing at around 8:15. But to my utter dismay and ill luck I’ve found myself starting my day off normally, not a minute earlier. So why you ask am I sitting here typing about random events that have absolutely no concern at all regarding you, then the answer is simple if not at all obvious. The real question is Why are you reading this entry.

One famous philosopher by the name of Confucius (no he does not have anything to do with confusion or being confused, its his bloody name you dumbshit) once said “Don’t use cannon to kill mosquito.” Fuck a cannon, I’m going to use a nuclear bomb. I’ll blow that mosquito up into smithereens for annoying me in the first place. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. If you have a problem deal with it in a non-physical manner. Unfortunately, most people tell you that but that doesn’t work either. Why is that countries are unable to come to a conclusion verbally and must arise to wars where hundreds of thousands of people die in order to come to a compromise? Compromise is probably an overstatement.

If you know me, you probably would start to wonder, Why isn’t John at soccer? Does it really matter? It’s not as if I’m going to make a difference, all I’m good at is juggling. So if all I’m good at is juggling why does it make people uncomfortable? I guess it’s probably envy. That reminds me of a song by Eminem “Big Weenie”. Think I’ll just copy paste the chorus.

You are just jealous of me
Cuz you, you just can’t do what I do
So instead of just admitting it
You walk around and say
All kinds of really mean things
About me cuz you’re a meanie, a meanie
But it’s only cuz you’re
Just really jealous of me
Cuz I’m what you want to be
So you just look like an idiot
When you say these mean things
Cuz it’s too easy to see
You’re just a really big weenie, big weenie

I guss that’s the reason why.

You are wrong. I’m not here because I feel sorry for myself therefore not attending soccer, I’m here because Shityrail decided to fuck me up once again. (Notice the cliche? I guess not.) Shityrail decided to conveniently have rail works today. You know it wouldn’t fucking hurt to put up a sign saying that there will be no trains over the weekend you fuck tards. Talking about signs, my mum asked me to go shopping with her to buy some groceries. At Woolworths i saw a sign which read “If you see this sign, you’ll save even more!” Man, seriously what the fuck? Is it suppose to make consumers feel better by seeing the sign? What if I take the sign away, does it mean they won’t save as much? Jesus Christ, why don’t they just put up a billboard that says “If you see this billboard, then you’ll save even more at Woolworths!”

Ironically, I’m usually pretty happy to take the bus to the city. I don’t know why, I think it’s because I get a sense that something different is happening and I may encounter something new and exciting. Ha! I doubt anything interesting will occur at tutoring for the rest of the term. Scholani decides to fuck me up with their stupid timetables, so fuck you and have a nice day.

On my trip to Woolworths my mum started a conversation, I didn’t say much as I didn’t feel like talking, regarding how we will always he looked down upon by whites. I thought she may begin talking about studying, girls or my brother. Anyways, she was saying how we (Asians you fuckwit) have to study harder in order to stand out from the whites. She said that everywhere there is discrimination of how in China people will always look down upon those from the country and how in Australia people will always look down upon immigrants especially asians.

My bro. (Talk about a sudden change in topc) How should i put it? He’s a pain in the arse. I’m not talking about physical pain, but mental pain. He takes me for granted, he expects me to do everything for him but when it comes to me making the decisions he’s one arrogant kid. I guess i should seriously stop poking him. But its so fun! I poke him once and he just goes “Mum! John’s poking me!” I guess it’s my bad but seriously, I’m just playing, its not like it hurts. Yesterday, I called him a “dibby dober” and he goes “Mum! John called me dibby dober!” “John, I’m not dibby dober, you are dibby dobber” Jesus Christ! I then said “James, I don’t like you” as a joke and now he’s so uptight about it. But it will pass, there will be a time where he’ll want me for something and then everything will be fine. But fuck me! Why is everything so bloody materialistic? How is it that a 5 year old kid can hate you for saying something and be the cutests thing ever if you do something good for him? Screw it. I guess I’ll have to be nicer to my bro.

I’m open to change.

I wonder what my bro will be like by the time he’s 16.

I’m out. Took 52 minutes to write this blog. What a waste of time but it’s nice to express things.

Edit: Pfft…that didn’t take very long did it? My bro all of a sudden “likes” me now since I’m letting him play flash games.

I’m feeling so tired, must be due to soccer. I love soccer, but sometimes it can seriously get on my nerves very much like basketball. I’ll save my story about basketball some other time but for now I’ll talk about soccer. Soccer is a serious bitch when it comes down to training. When you have a good coach, you may have some dodgy team members and also vice versa. I don’t know about this year though but i guess when the team is near perfect with a decent coach our team is still lacking one important thing, leadership. A team without a leader is like being stranded in the middle of nowhere without a map or compass. To tell you the truth i don’t think any of us is leadership material. Others may think differently but that’s solely my own opinion.

Right now i’m leaning back on my chair, with my legs on the desk, wireless keyboard on my lap thinking about what to do to have an efficiient night. I got so much work and so little time. I guess i’ll have to make better with what i have. I don’t think i should be complaining though as many people are on the same levels as me if not worse. So i praise thee.

Would i be considered tactless? When i walk past beggers they make me feel sad but i have no intention whatsoever to give them any money. I’ve listened to the song "underwear goes inside the pants" by Lazyboy and that addresses this issue. Evertime i walk past a begger I realise if i were to give them money, they will probably spend it on alcohol or drugs, but another side of me seems to make me come to reality. Of course they are going to spend it on drugs or alcohol! What do you think they’ll do save it up and put it in a bank? I don’t know, i’ve never really felt sympathetic for beggars, just it makes me feel depressing just walking past oblivious of their existence. I guess ignorance is what we as the human race do best. Giving a poor person some money hoping that it will turn them into a decent person yet they are totally ignorant of the thousands that die each day in the technologically challenged nations. Ignorance is bliss, I shouldn’t worry too much.

Today as I got off the train, there was a crowd of people near the area leading to the stairs. There was an old lady, probably around the age of mid fifties, lying there suffering on the cold asphalt. There was a cane lying beside her and everyone were attempting to take a glimpse of this fateful event. My only guess was that she tripped in the gap between the train and plateform which led her to fall. She was wimpering with her hands on her head with a middle aged man standing beside her doing who knows what. Did i feel sympathetic? I don’t know. At the moment i was thinking poor lady and i was hoping everything turned out okay for her. The train was probably delayed also, so i felt sorry for Lun who had to wait 20 minutes for the train at central whilst enduring the pains of the train delaying again due to an incident which could have been prevented. But i’m only speculating, she might have been pushed or shoved, who knows.

My mum told me at dinner that I was having a nightmare. She heard me making groans and stuff. I wouldn’t know what i was dreaming about but i did remember having a dream however the chances that it was a nightmare is doubtful. I only have nightmares when i’m sick. I tend to have the same dream over and over again only to wake up telling myself to stop dreaming yet the pains continue. Those aren’t exactly nightmares but just the same events occuring over and over again. I mostly enjoy having dreams, most becuase it’s unexpected and spontaneous. I love surprises, not as in "Surprise! It’s your birthday" type of surprises but as in surprises that occur in everyday life. You probably won’t know what I’m talking about so i’ll just stop right here.

I’ve uploaded some formal pictures yesterday, i was suppose to do it today but i just couldn’t resist the urge. I’m a persistent person so if i want something done, i usually can’t wait. Nobody invited any girls not even the ones who are totally capable. I’m referring to the people that hang around the canteen and not in regards to the people that actually brought dates. Maybe Chaitu is telling the truth afterall, maybe Ruse chicks are just that much hotter than Sydney Girls. Who the hell knows. My mum actually suggested the idea that during the Year 12 formal, I should take a female friend to the formal just for the sake of taking somebody out. Not BLOODY likely. I believe when that actually occurs, it will be considered as a "pity date". Oh yeah, FUCK YOU Thomas. Okay he probably won’t be reading this so i’ll just bag him out. This guy called Thomas believes its immoral to masturbate so he goes around asking everybody if they masturbate. For those that actually say yes he says some stupid remark about being horny and how he never expected or always expected that person to be or not be like that. Everybody does it! Whether they are able to admit is their problem. But i guess there are some people who are "conservative" and may not wake up to their bodily needs. I asked Thomas when the last time he had a wet dream and he simply replied "Urgh…I don’t know, last week?"

Enjoy the formal pictures, I realise there are no pictures of any other race apart from Asians but seriously we do rule 50% of the world’s population so kiss my yellow ass! (I hate the term yellow but *sigh*)

Bye Bye Friend

What’s up with driving? I mean why is everybody getting a driver’s licence as soon as they turn 16? The only use for it at this early stage in life is pretty much for identification. Apart from identification the driver’s license is pretty uselss.

Let’s see, you get a driver’s licence and then what? Learn to drive? Sure go ahead. You drive 50 hours and then you can get your P’s! Yay! Driving is too overated, okay so let’s say you did get your P’s after 50 hours of driving plus passing the test, are you still going to buy yourself a car? How much would an average car cost? 15k? Have you got the money to buy it? But I guess you wouldn’t be able to afford it but your parents definately will. So your parents buy you a car and they throw in the insurance. I wonder how much insurance will cost on a brand new car for an adult under the age of 25. Seriously how often would you even drive the car? Say you got your P’s at the age of 17 your probably still in school. Why would anybody drive to school and waste money on fuel when public transport is free? You’r saving money plus the environment. After high school its uni, by then I still think catching public transport is better, I would rather be dropped off infront of the school rather than trying to find a parking spot and walking couple hundred metres from the parking lot to the uni.

I guess it all comes down to self image. Cars are fallic symbols so I guess driving a car makes you feel more powerful in a sense. Some people in my grade talk about buying a sports car, I can see it perfectly, asian, under 25, sports car…Nice…

The insurance will probably end up costing more than the car itself. Also, people act if having the ability to drive is something to be proud of. Why is that? Everybody is going to learn how to drive, just at different times. I mean sure, some people may be better drivers than others but what’s the point of showing off the number of hours you have driven or what sort of car you drove or even how you drove it. It doesn’t make much difference but people tend to do it anyways.

What’s so cool about driving a sports car? Sure it looks good but I’m sure it costs even more but what’s the point? You’re not going to be driving up to 200km/hr and if you do you should seriously stop before killing somebody. Does it give you satisfaction just for having the knowledge that your car can travel up to speeds of over 200km/hr? I guess your thinking "Yes, yes it does". Pathetic.

Okay, that’s one thing off my chest. Now onto something else.

AZNS. No not Asians, AZNS. You know, the "look at me I’m so cool" type of Asians which I refer to as AZNS. They are seriously pathetic. They do remarkably dumb things which decreases the general reputation of Asians in general. HEAPS of people in my school are AZNS, some more so than others but generally they’s a little bit of AZN in all of us.

What I’m talking about is the type that jiggs school to go to a internet cafe, the type that plays basketball to look cool, the type that smokes in order to feel socially accepted, the type that dye’s their hair in order to look "better".

Why oh why? Seriously, why can’t they make up their mind for once and lot act like a sheep. But I guess the above isn’t as bad, I can live with it, I can deal with it. The ones I despise most are the type that called themselves "gansters". Give me a break and go get a life.

This wannabe "ganster" tried to roll me at China Town but backed down since he knew Jason F who goes to the same school as me. What a loser.

This other time, somehow he was on the phone with Jason and somehow they got me on the phone with this wannabe "Gangster" by the name of G-Long. That’s one weird ass name. This is the conversation on mobile with loudspeaker on.

G-Long: Fuck you motherfucker, fucking fuck…. (I sorta of forget what he said but it was somehwere along the lines of this)
Me: Urgh…fuck you too
G-Long: What dyou say? Go fuck yourself! Come to Campsie tomorrow and I’ll smash you.
Robin: Fuck you!!!!
G-Long: What? I’m going to bring 50 people and smash you.
Robin: I’ll bring 100!
G-Long: Yeah? What level are you?
*I ended the conversation*

So you see my point. What a tryhard, valueless, arrogant AZN. Seriously, levels? They take it to a point beyond realism.

Edit: I thought I might just entertain you guys with the definition of the word AZN.

Dear Diary,

Do you know what’s pathetic? I don’t know, that’s why i’m asking you. What? You actually thought i was being rhetorical? Ha!

Yesterday, I had my first soccer match. We won 3-0 against Waverly. I’m in 7th Grade so make fun of me all you like. It was a pretty good game, I didn’t score but not that it mattered, the general game felt good, despite the fact that our coach, Robert, said something about me looking sad on the field. I don’t know, I didn’t feel sad, but maybe its just the impression i had, who knows. I don’t know if he thought that I was who he thought he was. Not many people can remember my name for some reason. Maybe its just too ordinary. Seriously, John. I don’t hate my name, it’s weird how not many asians have the name John. I reckon John maybe the most ordinary name ever, although the name Bob maybe considered the most ordinary. But that’s the thing, Bob is too ordinary of a name and people remember it easier due to its ordinaryness.

Come on! I won’t bite, tell me. What do you think is pathetic?

Today I had tutoring. It felt like i just started yet i’ve been going for 2 years now. Everybody has left, in English and writing there were only 7 people out of the original 14 or so. Only 1 new person joined and that was Alice, the one and only girl. Pretty pathetic. We had a guy called Peter for English, pretty cool guy, not bad at teaching. At writing we had Jamie, he had a negative vibe on me, he was pretty good in terms of teaching but its just he’s attitude that bothers me. "Dumb blonde, that’s another tautology. Ha Ha Ha! Nah! (takes it back)" Seriously, get real, he also starts paying out Michael after he got angry at Michael for eating in class. We had a 1 hr break, that was a bummer. Didn’t do jack, went to eat, and walked around Market City. So bloody boring. After 1 hour we had maths, this time we only had 6 people. I was the only new person doing maths, the rest did it last term, 10 people left maths. I thought it would be boring and guess what? It was. Actually, it was okay, we had a chick teacher who seems like in her early 20′s. She reminded me of this girl that used to go to tutoring. Maybe its her sister, who knows. Her name was Jemma, don’t know if that’s how you spell it or not but it doesn’t really matter does it? Names, don’t mean much. I paid attention in maths for obvious reasons.

Do you know what it’s like? To be trapped? Have nothing to gain but everything to lose? Yes. Unfortunately, nobody can be told what it’s like, you have to experience it yourself.

Everything begins with choice. You chose to go to sleep, to go to work, to wake up, to fall asleep. It’s funny how one simple choice can lead to a sequence of events which lead to millions of others various choices affecting both individuals and groups. I say just go with it, if the juice is worth the squeeze take some risks. But then, who said i follow everything which i say? Most people would take other people’s advice but how many would take their own? If it was that simple nobody would be smoking would they? They know smoking kills and if they stop it’s going to better their lifestyle yet they still smoke.

Don’t you just hate it when people say, if iwas you blah blah…? Seriously, if they were you, then you’d be them and you know that you wouldn’t be going if i was you blah blah blah… Fate it seems, is not without a sense of irony.

John