Last thing you'll ever read…again
Archive for March, 2005
OMG…is it just me?
Mar 28th
I have conclusive proof that the checkout chick has a crush on me. That is scary. At first my tenant tells me that she keeps asking questions about me. I though she might have got the wrong person as theres a fair bit of asians where i live. Today my mum told me that yesterday, she asked her about me again! How old i was etc. God scary thought.
Anywayz, i think it may just be me, but i have this crazy idea that i know when a girl likes me or not. But then i haven’t really talked to the checkout chick and i don’t even know her name so i couln’t really tell. Maybe i’m just paranoid cause i don’t meet that many girls much.
I went to a BBQ today at national park and i met a girl that went to my sister school and this other girl that goes to a school in my surburb. Talk about a small world, and somehow their parents know my parents yet i never knew them 
. There were a couple of little kids there but i didn’t bother talking to them…i talked mostly to the girl that went to my sister school, probably cause she didn’t feel like playing cricket with the others. *phew* lucky me or else i would be all myself. It makes me angry that they all know each other and i don’t know anybody. My parents always say how they don’t have any friends with daughters my age. Hello??? Whatever.
It was fun while it lasted, but i’m always better at saying hellos then saying goodbyes. I barely even said goodbye. I feel degenerated. Meeting new people is fun. But sometimes its like a one night stand, the chances of seeing them again is next to nil.
Time and again
Mar 25th
ever get the feeling that your friends think lower of you? I get that pretty often, depending which group of friends i hang out with.
I don’t just have one specific group of friends. I’ve got some friends who are smart, some not so smart, some tryhard, some genuine, some arrogant, some timid and some abnoxious.
I mean the school that i go to is fairly respectable compared to normal highschools. However, there is always the sense that smarter people think little of those not as interlectual as them. I don’t know why, but it seems that intelligence is what drives them.
Just because some are more intelligent as other it does not give them the right to criticise others. Jesus Christ! I hear the word dumb repeated at least 100 times a day. People in my school aren’t dumb or else they wouldn’t have gotten in, in the first place. It makes me sick that people actually descriminate due to intelligence. Three things i can’t tolerate is when people insult your family, race or intelligence. What are they so insecure about?
Sometimes i feel that i’m the only person on this planet who actually sees things differently. For those actually bother to read this, i thank thee.
We’ll show the…
bored
Mar 25th
i got work to do but i’m bored. I can’t think of any incentives except for a study group but hardly anybody is interested and i don’t feel like getting into a study group where everybody else are smarter.
If anybody is as interested as i am in the matrix post a comment.
Ignorance is Bliss
Mar 21st
Matrix teaches you alot of stuff. Ignorance is truly bliss. Something that you don’t know won’t hurt you. Seriously i would like to know alot about the stuff around me but curiousity killed the cat and thats is why ignorance is bliss. I don’t think you would like to know some of the things that happen around you.
I seriously should stop hoping for things to happen. Hope is something the human brain invents to compensate for a particular situation. Hope is bs, nobody got anything out of hope, you can either wait for it to happen or take action and do it. I have to admit, i like to wait for things to happen that’s why they never happen or takes a looong time to happen.
How many times have u said that phrase "I hope…." and how often does it ever happen?
If ur like reiligious and believes that hope is vital for whatever reason and i assure u, ur in denial and you know it.
What i support is "believing". I’m not talking about "If i believe i can fly therefore i can" i’m talking about it more realistically.
Just remember There is no spoon…
Plans for the future
Mar 20th
I got soo much work right now, i have no idea how i’m gonna get through everything. Right now i just cannot be bothered doing anything. I need a hug.
i would like to do a commerce/IT course, i forgot the exact name but its somewhere along the lines of that. God, i would like to really see myself in the future, 99 for UAI, good looking girlfriend, decent part time job (unlike my present one).
I’ve just realised the one thing people have not made yet which will be beneficial. Like can you think of anything that hasn’t been made yet and yet it interests people? Some of the technology these days are pretty useless, N-Gage, now that’s a stupid idea, camera on an i-ipod even worse. I was thinking about virtual reality. Now thats innovation. Imagine instead of controlling a character, you are the character. Somehow, i hope i will be making the first virtual reality software.
Now that gets me thinking, if virtual reality isn’t real, then anything can happen. So i was thinking about building a matrix environment guarded by rules, however, if we believed hard enough we can bend or even break the rules just like in the matrix. I would really like to fly, i know i sound pathetic but how sic would it be if you can fly. If ur stressed just fly around and enjoy the scenary.
Anyway, that sounds like a pretty dodgy dream, but hey at least i have one. Another thing i hope to have is making a useful program in the future. Like something not as complex as virtual reality and everybody will need. That’ll be cool.
Right now to achieve those dreams i have to stop procastinating and start doing something about it. I’ve been telling myself to ask if Bing Lee is offering any jobs but i just cbb.
I should seriously provide incentives for doing work. It’ll be better if there were 2 people.
Matrix
Mar 17th
I’m a huge matrix fan except i don’t have the assets to justify my obsession with the matrix. I’ve have got reloaded + revolutions separately bought plus the ultimate 10 dvd box set, although i didn’t get the limited edition.
So i have pretty much everything, except, the games, albums, posters, sunglasses, figurines, books and comics.
I just want the albums although some of the music don’t sound that good, 1 or 2 posters, maybe a pair of neo sunglasses and the 2 series of the matrix comics.
Its a pity how capitalism exploits everybody into buying something they don’t need.
I like the matrix and theres nothing u can do to change it. Only i can change and alter my desires…
Self control
Mar 16th
*sigh* i tend to laugh at people when they are unable to resist a specific urge, smoking, dota, games, porn etc
But lately i’ve found that i too lack the self control. its something easier said than done, and whilst i recognise my priorities i fail to execute them successfully.
I need to organise my times better next term as now i have stacks full of hw and assessments.
Right now, i’m trying to swear less especially in unneccessary situations. Its funny i can keep someone else’s promise yet i can’t keep my own.
Man is the architect of his own demise…
Long time no blog :P
Mar 15th
Okay i have realised that this year is extremely "surprising". I love surpriese, i find that the more i hope for something to happen the less its gonna happen. But sometimes things just happen and it turns out to be a pretty good experience for me.
Anywayz, i have found that these past weeks i have met alot of random people. Some which was more of a "One timer".
* Anywayz, i met this girl in work experience who happened to live in Kogarah went to my Primay School and working at the same shop as i was. That is weird.
* I met a guy from my primary school, same year as me, and he and his friend plus me were walking home talking about people and he’s friend happened to live next to me. That is weird.
* I’ve been conversing with this guy at work who happened to be going to newington same grade as me and boy this guy is extreme, i won’t mention any names or details)
In addition i’ve found that i can talk to "strangers" easier, like i don’t find myself 20 minutes later thinking about what i should of said.
My conclusion, work and tutoring helps you socialise better. So the best thing i think people should do is not work at places where their friends work and not go to tutoring colleges where their friends go. This way you can meet you people.
It’s really funny, how in tutoring there will always be somebody you know that knows them.
Take the rOad less travelled aNd live with what You have. <===== (subliminal message)
